Looking forward

Another Christmas has come and gone.  Filled with joy and excitement, love and giving.  I love the traditions that my family has, and the creation of new ones.  Like the questionable Christmas sweater that I received from my sister-in-law...we'll see who gets it next year.  Whenever there's a joke gift involved, I seem to be in some way connected, either as the giver or receiver.  

The days between Christmas and New Year's always prompts me to look inwards.  Did I accomplish my goals of the past year?  What intentions will I set for the year to come?  As always I don't feel that I've accomplished the resolutions for the past year.  I never feel that I do.  So I am going to just set one intention for 2014.  Balance.  I talk about it a lot, but never achieve it.  I can't expect to feel well and whole if I don't find balance though.  And with every passing year, I feel more need to be balanced.  Work and play.  There needs to be a balance.  I find myself perpetually feeling like I'm on a never ending treadmill that is just going way too fast.  That harried feeling isn't healthy.  For anyone.  So I'm looking to achieve balance.

Balance means incorporating yoga, exercise, as well an outlet for my creative side.  I'm thinking about finding some art classes, or cardmaking, or something like that.  I love to knit and crochet, but my shoulder and wrist don't like it (ouch!).  I need to find something to work on that will allow me to empty my mind of the other things.  I also need to spend time in nature.  Not a fan of winter, but I need to find something to do that will allow me to get outside and drink it in.  I function better when I spend time enjoying the glory of nature.  

As I write this, I feel like I'm just rewriting a previous post or ten.  Definitely a sign that I'm not doing what my soul craves.  Listening to my soul would be a good start....

Whatever your intention or resolution for 2014, I wish you a happy and prosperous year.  Prosperity in the things beyond material prosperity.  For those are what are what is really important.  

Waiting for Santa.....

Days of imposed rest (dr's orders), hours of Pinterest, Facebook and blogs.  Two Game of Thrones novels completed and nothing left to read but some professional reading.  One completed crocheted headband.  I am just waiting for Santa!  Who comes tonight, my nephew Kai says it's so.  I am looking forward to all the excitement of Christmas Day brings.

Tomorrow will bring stockings and gifts and special Christmas morning yummies.  We will be packing up to head to Grandma and Grandpa's house, where the larger family will be converging.  Six boys, two girls and lots of adults.  The excitement and confusion will be palpable.  I can't wait.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas.  May Santa be good to you!

The awesome Vitamin C IV

Exhausted, sinus headache and achy, achy joints and muscles?  Sounds like the flu.  Feels like the flu. In addition to my handfuls of vitamins, homeopathic nasal spray and LOTS of extra sleep, I highly recommend going to a naturopath for a VitaminC IV with extra immune booster shot added in.  I dragged my sorry self out of bed yesterday, headed to the ND and had my IV.  Back home, Advil for the aching and back to bed.  This morning woke up feeling much more like myself.  Much less aching, no more Advil and just more resting.  Hopefully back to school tomorrow.  The trick is catching it in time--don't wait until you're already really sick, be proactive.  I can't say enough about the magic IV!

Update:  while the IV helped, I have succumbed to the aches again.  So more Advil, more napping and no work again tomorrow.  :(  but my hubs tells me I have more colour in my face and I'm not quite as pale.  Always a good sign.  But without the IV I would be a mess, so I'm still grateful!

It's been awhile......

I know it's been quite a while.  But life is crazy and all fell apart the first week of school, so here we are.  I don't want to fill blog land with whiny posts that are oozing with self-pity.  Not my style.  Let's just say fall has kicked my ass, and I'm looking forward to things looking up from here on in.

I am grateful for a supportive husband and family, good friends and colleagues.  The past few weeks especially have made me think about resiliency.  What makes some resilient and others not so much?  Maybe outlook on life?  I'm not sure, but is know that when I'm feeling stressed and ready to meltdown, I take a look around and remind myself that it could be worse.  Yes, work is stressful, I'm worried about my parents and other family members and friends, but I'm ok.  I have a good job, a beautiful home and a great family.  I'm healthy (except for that pesky anemia....) and life is pretty good.  Maybe that's the difference.  I'm not sure.  I do know that I want to shake a few people and tell them to wake up and take a look at their lives--enough with the drama.  I question how our society is devolving into  a society of self-pity and lack of resilient individuals.  Put on your big girl panties (or boy gotchies), a pair of boots and get on with it.  Kick life in the butt.  Got lemons?  Make lemonade.

So there you have it.  Working on getting back to serenity.  Reminding my self daily, "it is what it is".  I even bought a Mantraband that I wear daily to remind of that simple yet effective mantra.  If you can't change it, get over it and move on.

And pin Christmas stuff.  It will make you feel good, if you are a Christmas lover like I am.  I can't wait.  It's the best time of year.  What's not to love in December?  My birthday, anniversary and Christmas all in one month.  Absolutely fantastic.

And if all else fails?  Utter your favourite curse words, pour a glass of your favourite adult beverage and have a hot bath laced with Epsom salts and lavender oil.  Tomorrow is a new day.

I think I hear the fat lady singing....

That's it folks.  It's pretty much over.  We have reached Labour Day.....and as I sit on my deck wearing the hubs cuddly Lulu sweater, my toes and fingers are cold.  It feels like fall.  Kiddos will be arriving bright and fresh faced at schools all over tomorrow morning, full of eager anticipation for the year ahead.  I remind parents to at least attempt to look a little bit sad as they put the kids on buses or drop them at school.  Try.  :)

School beginning always signals new beginnings for me.  I'm starting a cleanse tomorrow.  I decided to use Isagenix, based on the positive results that others are experiencing with it.  Reports of balanced hormones, reduced inflammation and reduction in autoimmune symptoms are enough to convince me.  What I'm doing isn't working, and you know the definition of insanity, right?!  Between my buddy Hashimoto's (confirmed diagnosis by my internist.....tell me something I didn't already know!) and babying my hip and knee as they heal, pounds have crept on.  Time to fix that.  Lots of walking, cleansing and yoga.

My sons and borrowed kid will start school on Wednesday, and my daughter heads back to university this week.  I will miss her and her crazy kitty when they go, but it's good for everyone to get back into routines.  My other kids need to get back to school too, to reconnect with friends and fill their lives with learning.

My husband has had a rough weekend.  His mom has gone to a nursing home.  She has dementia and is becoming more and more confused.  While it's a relief to know that she will be well cared for and safe, it's always difficult when huge life transitions happen.  Dementia is a terrible thing, and it's so difficult to see a parent struggling.  

So that's it.  The fat lady is singing.  It's over for another year.  Time to enjoy the splendour of autumn, leaves will soon be changing, the bounty of the harvest.  Ontario corn, tomatoes, potatoes and peaches are now in season.  And apples.  Fresh crunchy apples, also harvested locally.  

Maybe it's not so bad after all.

The dog days of summer.....

This is it, the final week of summer before I head back to work.  It's been a fabulous summer!  Montreal with my hubs, my parents' trailer, some time with my nephews and heading to a cottage for this last beautiful week.  Beautiful weather, LOTS of rest, very little exercise and some great books have made for a blissful holiday.  I'm looking forward to lots of beach time this week, the cottage is only a short walk to Sauble Beach.  Sauble is one of the nicest beaches in Canada.  I hope the lake is warm, and the days are sunny!

http://theperiodstore.com/post?id=186  this popped up on my Twitter feed.  Brilliant.  A store that delivers "feminine" products to your home.  Someone is reaping the benefits of female biology!  In a somewhat related vein, if your doctor wants to do an impromptu endometrial biopsy, don't believe him when he says most women don't feel anything.  That sh** hurts.  A lot.  Go for the knocked out version   Never believe anyone who doesn't have a uterus when they tell you something won't hurt.  Lesson learned.

If you need to laugh until tears come, read this www.thebloggess.com  Jenny Lawson is one funny, if bizarre lady.  I picked up her book to read at the cottage, it's supposed to be equally as funny.  I'll let you know.

I found a couple yoga studios near my school, I'm looking forward to getting back to a regular practice.  Dancing Turtle offers kripalu yoga, and The Yoga Barn offers several different classes, including Moksha (hot) and Vinyasa Flow.  I'm thinking vinyasa is what I need.  See you on the mat :)

Enjoy these last few of weeks of summer.  If I catch any great sunsets there will be pictures to come.

Why I love my naturopath...and some other stuff

I went for a visit to my naturopath yesterday.  And walked away feeling great about myself, my summer choices and more than that, filled with hope and self-acceptance.  She listens.  Listens fully.  That is the single most important difference between her and my conventional medicine doctors.  She takes the time to listen, treats me like I'm intelligent and cares about all of me.  So in a nutshell, she agrees with me that whatever is going on in my body, it's not fibromyalgia.  Which relieves me.  She agrees that anti-depressants and sleeping pills are not a good solution for me (I can't emphasize for me enough....they are the right thing for some people).  She applauds my decision to give myself permission to sleep and do nothing in order to heal my body.  And agrees that running is not in the cards for me at this time.  My gut feeling is that yoga is what I really need, maybe a little walking and swimming, lots of sleep and time doing nothing are the best medicine.  She agrees with me.  We talked about how the forties are very freeing in many ways.  And letting go of guilt and living life, not always hurtling toward the next goal.  Eating beautiful food, lots of veggies and fruit, cutting out grains, drinking lots of water (and some wine....let's not kid ourselves) are all part of what is going to make me feel well.  It's amazing what those things and getting rid of stress will do for a body.  

I think it's important to emphasize that I'm not implying in any way that it's my job that causes me issues.  It's only one stressor out of many.  What's important is recognizing that in order to do the job I LOVE, I need to take care of myself and use my vacation to heal and rest.  My biggest stressor is me.  I make myself crazy.  My brain never flippin' turns off, and that causes stress.  So I'm trying to learn to turnout off.  And since realistically I can't totally change my personality and turn my mile a minute mind off, I need to practice working with it.  Not letting things turn me into a pretzel of stress and cortisol and crankiness.  I'm working on it.  It's a process.

Last night was a weird night.  I spent hours alone, just me, the cats, my dog and my daughter's boyfriend's dog.  We hung out, we cuddled, I read a bit and we watched a movie.  PS I Love You.  Normally romantic movies make my skin crawl, I much prefer sidesplitting inappropriate comedy or action type movies, but that one I love.  There's nothing quite as nice as snuggling in a warm bed with a cool breeze blowing in the window, pets all around, watching a movie that makes you cry.  Only a little bit.  It's a tear jerker, but so heart warming at the same time.  It makes me very grateful for what I have.

This week I'm looking forward to maybe more beach time, more reading, more movies and getting ready to head to Montreal next week.  I can't wait to go to Montreal, I haven't been in years, and it's just not like Toronto.  It's so.....French I guess.  Whatever it is, I love it and I'm excited to be going for a few days. When we return a couple of days at my parents trailer, more beach time and then a week at a cottage in Sauble Beach.  More beach time.  By then I should be good and ready to head back to work.

Isn't life grand?

One reason Canadian summer is too short

My summer just started.  I finished work on Friday, and will have six glorious weeks of summer before returning to school all refreshed and able to cope with other people's children.  Believe me, educators need to recharge over summer.  Most kids are great, some would try the patience of Mother Teresa (oh wait, that might be my own children I'm speaking of.....message remains the same....). But I digress.....so, while I'm enjoying catching up all of the housework I didn't do for the past, oh let's say 9 months, I check my email.  And my inbox is full of emails about back to school sales, uniforms, backpacks and other school accoutrements that parents get suckered into buying.  It's the second week of July for crying out loud.  What kind of an asshat is thinking about back to school already?  (Sorry Pinterest friends who are madly pinning BTS crap....stop planning for a couple of weeks already!).  We live in a ridiculously material, consumerist society.  It is summer.  Time for beaches and decks and hanging out with friends.  Camping, cottaging, enjoying nature, hiking, lakes, canoeing.  You know Canadian summer things.  Not advertisements for crap kids don't actually need for school, that were no doubt manufactured in an Asian sweatshop.  First world problem I know.  But I live in the first world, and my crazy life makes me sick and I need to recharge without worrying about BTS.

So when I summon enough energy to unsubscribe to those retailers (online shopping is wonderful, and yet this is the result), that's what I will do.  In the meantime, don't email my sympatico account, I'm not reading those ones.  

In other news, when cleaning my grubby house, I took the chocolate brown curtains down to be washed.  And rediscovered the lovely bright airiness of my downstairs.  I don't think I'm putting them back up.  I did foray to Target a week ago to see if they had any lighter curtains, they didn't have what I was looking for.  Although I'm not sure the orange and white chevron I'm envisioning in my head is available anywhere.  Maybe I can talk Rick into coming to Ikea with me.  I live in a subdivision so no curtains isn't really an option, I need some kind of window coverings.  Ikea might be my best bet.  Cheap.  Or I might need to stoop to actually sewing some.  I think it's safe to say that is not really the best option.  Sewing raises my blood pressure to near stroke levels.  Fingers crossed that somewhere will have just what I'm looking for.

I've also decided this morning that I need to buy a "vintage" trailer to redo, and then put on a lake somewhere on a seasonal site.  Vintage really means old.  But made to look adorable with paint and imagination.  Look on Pinterest.  You'll see what I'm talking about.  Has to be a trailer, Rick won't go tent camping anymore.  I say Rick, but what I really mean is that we are too old and decrepit to get up off the ground in the morning when we sleep in tents.  For real.  But the real deal is that I need to be in nature.  Near water.  Nothing soothes the soul or lowers blood pressure like looking out at the lake in the early morning.  

Lunch with my sister and nephews today, meaning I need to kick my butt into gear so I get there on time.  Enjoy summer friends, it's too fleeting to be thinking about fall yet.

Quiet days

Summer vacation has finally arrived, and with it the bliss of quiet days.  Time to reflect, meditate, practise yoga and simplify.  A new doctor who suggests that fibromyalgia is a part of the puzzle of my health has given me lots to ponder.  Apparently it's not normal to ache everyday and to have trouble climbing out of bed because of stiffness and non-restorative sleep.  I don't know why I never suspected that in my quest for answers as to why I feel like crap a lot of the time.  But I didn't.  It's given me a huge kick in the butt.  I'm in my early forties, and some days feel 80.  I don't have time to feel like that.  I have too much to accomplish.  So I am actually taking my own advice and working on simplifying and finding balance.  It's my hope that it will just be habit by the time I go back to work in six weeks.  Six glorious weeks of summer.  It will fly by and before I know it I will be making plans to return to my office, and get ready for the onslaught of children after labour day.  Until then you can find me taking it easy.

Breathe......

I can feel it coming.  I'm starting to be able to breathe again.  Literally.  I think I've been breathing shallow, shallow breaths for so long that I didn't realize it had once again become a habit.  I wasn't so tired I felt nauseous today.  Still tired, but not bone achy nauseous kind of tired.  Today was kind of wild, but I could handle it.  A few days ago I would have been able to feel the panic rising up into my throat.  One more stressor that was going to put me over the edge.  

Oh, I had my meltdown on Sunday.  The kind of dissolving into weeping that is sometimes just what you need to break free of the stress.  To be able to get up and move on.  You know, the despair that nearly sends husbands into full on panic.  If SHE is melting down like this, what the heck am I going to do?  The right answer of course is to pour a beverage of choice (tea, wine, diet coke) and offer to punch the creep that tipped her over the edge in the throat.  The ridiculousness of that statement usually snaps me out of my state.  Even though I could never condone violence.

Except when it comes to sports.  As I said before, my son has started playing rugby.  Which ranks only slightly behind lacrosse in my enjoyment as a spectator.  As soon as I can figure out all of the ref hand signals, I will enjoy it fully.  Huge, hulking men throwing each other on the ground, piling up, shoving?  I'm in.  We went to see the Canada vs Ireland rugby game on Saturday night.  Because said son has the broken ankle, we got seats in the accessible section, because was in a wheelchair to get into the BMO Centre.  We sat right behind the Irish bench.  We could hear them talking.  It was amazing.  I am officially a Team Ireland fan, and loved every single minute of it.  I am buying tickets for both the Canada vs USA game and the All Blacks vs Canada.  Even if I end up going myself.  No number 19, Mike McCarthy (lock for Ireland), but it's rugby!  I can't wait.  Btw, if you PVRed the game Saturday, on TSN, you can see the back of my head in some shots.  From far away.  I'm going to watch to see if you can actually see our faces at any point.  Never something I thought I would ever do.  Seriously?  TSN?  Weird.  My only wish is that more lacrosse and rugby would be televised.  Because I relieve my aggression vicariously through it.

A few more days, and then sweet freedom.  Lots of time on the deck and at the beach.  Studying referee hand signals :)

Glad the week is over....

In the drama that I call life, it's been quite week.  First our Miss Kitty (and we miss her so much!), then Seamus breaking his ankle at rugby.  And that was quite a roller coaster ride!  First told he needed surgery to put screws in, then he didn't, but has a cast.  Crap weather, snow on my newly planted plants.  I was glad when the week was over.  This weekend is a course weekend, which isn't great, but the end is in sight. 

Unfortunately I accidentally ate a teensy bit of gluten yesterday, because I didn't read a label.  Dumb.  So today my stomach feels like I drank battery acid and then scrubbed it with a wire brush.  Not pleasant.  I only had a mouthful, I can't imagine a whole bunch!   Lesson learned, don't absently mindedly eat stuff without label reading.  My mistake, I've only myself to blame.

Found a new massage therapist down the street from school, who I really liked.  She worked on my blasted IT bands.  She asked if the right side was especially painful, because it was REALLY tight.  Yes, yes it was/is.  Hoping everything I'm doing for it heals it up quickly!

Allistair planning his escape.  Now that he's an only kitty, he's even more determined to go everywhere with the dog.  The birds don't know how lucky they are!  And he has no idea that the coyotes will eat him if I let him out.  He's also loving Seamus, giving him lots of cuddles and loud purring.  Funny for a cat that really is a one person creature.  I guess broken bones need kitty love to heal, in his opinion!

Jasmine

Yesterday was a sad day at our house. Our beautiful almost seventeen year old kitty Jasmine had to be put to sleep. She was my daughter's cat, a little orange fluffball, named Jasmine after the Aladdin character. Because that's what four year old little girls do.

We've had her since Jess was four and Jackson was nine months. We had her longer than we had Seamus. She will be missed.

She's not the first pet I've had to make the hardest decision for, and she won't be the last. But I swear that when you love pets the way I do, a little piece of my soul never recovers. Other animal lovers will understand exactly what I mean.

For first time in many years we are a two pet family. One dog, one cat. It's weird.

And now we heal. Today will be a better day.

Weirdo magnet part 2 and some other stuff

So, remember how I wrote a post not long ago about being a weirdo magnet? It keeps happening. I've received two more friend requests from men, and of course both profiles are a little sketchy. One is a "soldier for hire" and claims to work for a paramilitary organization in Afghanistan. But lives in Jamaica. He was clever enough to have a couple of pictures of him with a kid, and says he a widower. The one I got last night is from a handsome (who'd you steal that picture from?) man from Barcelona, but living in Maryland. He speaks English and "spainish". Of course he does. Because a native Spanish speaker would undoubtedly spell it that way. I've come to the conclusion that my profile pic must make me look really naive/desperate, and that the friends of my friends are making some poor choices of who they are friending on Facebook. And apparently "married" means nothing. I've also come to the conclusion that Manchester and Maryland are common choices for scammers to say they live. If they told me they live in Anchorage I might believe they are real people. Not really. I'm still a little concerned that somewhere in fbland my profile is linked to a porn site or something. Or a middle-aged ladies looking for younger handsome men dating site. Either way, if you find out I am, let me know!

In other news, I'm learning to overcome my deep seated distrust and disdain for mainstream medical doctors. I have found a good one. I'm getting better care than I have in 20 years, with the exception of the fantastic care I always get from my naturopath. He actually wants to find the root cause of the symptoms I have and takes me seriously. The look on his face when he asks questions about my history and finds out I've been asking the same questions since I became an adult is priceless. He will never say it, but it's evident he doesn't think I've gotten very good care in the past. Which is unfortunate, but I'm grateful that I'm getting it now. Not much wonder he's so busy and is always running behind with his appointments. I hope he never leaves my community!

I'm ever grateful for long weekends, and the chance to get caught up-- with sleep, housework and projects for my course (which is almost over, hallelujah!). A little gardening is in order, date night with my love and time just vegging out and getting ready to face the next few very busy weeks at school. I might even do some yoga. And of course the exercises I've been given for my knee.

Whatever you're doing this long weekend, enjoy. Garage sales, gardening, opening cottages and trailers, it's all good.

Much love.

10 Things

My blog friend Eco Yogini wrote an awesome blog post yesterday. You can read it here

http://ecoyogini.blogspot.ca/2013/05/10-things-you-need-to-tell-yourself-big.html

and in it she challenges us to write 10 things you love about your self---your non-physical self. She also asks us to tell 3 friends something you love about them. Let me just start by saying that she is an inspiring woman, her passion for the environment, her Acadian heritage and her work as a speech pathologist are a pleasure to read about. And I love when she writes about yoga too.

So......here goes. 10 things I love about me:

1. My ability to form relationships with children, as an educator. My office isn't where you go when you're in trouble, it's a safe place to talk to a caring adult.

2. My passion for all things education, especially improving student achievement.

3. My cognitive ability. Like the way my brain works.

4. The way I've never met a dog that didn't love me. Or cat for that matter.

5. My off-beat sense of humour. It's been a little hidden lately, but I love laughing. And making people laugh.

6. My practical, get things done nature. I am the antithesis of a procrastinator. Works for me.

7. My creativity. I have an artsy side, I enjoy creating.

8. My passion for equity. Especially for children. It's amazing where we can find silent inequities in daily life when we're aware.

9. Speaking both English and French. Sometimes I forget that it's not something everyone can do.

10. My uncanny ability to remember names, phone numbers and birthdays. I may lose my purse, but I can remember all of my elementary school friends parents' phone numbers and their birthdays. Without the help of Facebook. And word for word conversations. It drives my husband nuts.


After a crappy week, Eco Yogini's post made me smile.....and helped to put things in perspective. Yes, I'm very distracted lately, my brain circuits are overloaded, hence losing my purse, but that doesn't make me stupid. Which is how I felt when I realized in my distracted state, having left my purse at a store, and recovering the purse minus my iPod and brand new iPhone and some money. Stupid. And an expensive mistake. But it was a mistake, we all make them. And in the end, it's just stuff. Possessions. I got back the purse I love, that my hubs bought for me for Mother's Day last year. That's more important to me than the other stuff. I can replace them (because I am fortunate enough to have a great job and the financial means, that in itself is a huge thing I should be grateful for).

I am much more than my possessions, my physical body and the mistakes that I make.

And I am passing the challenge along. Either comment or write a blog post telling 10 things you like about yourself, and tell 3 friends something you love about them. No physical attributes allowed! It's harder than you think.

I realize how much my professional life defines me as a person. It's time to get a hobby!

IT band woes

I went for an assessment and therapy on my very sore knees today.  Which hurt like crazy, I might add.  Yes, it's my IT bands.  No I'm not allowed to run.  Or even take long walks.  Or really do anything but the exercises HE gave me.  And frustratingly, I'm told it's more significant than I thought.  If I ever want to run--or take long walks again, I need to fix it.  No, new stability shoes aren't the answer.  I need to "exercise it better."  It's a good thing HE is very attractive, and kind of funny.  Although I didn't find today funny at all.  More painful and disappointing than anything.  Like the kind of pain you breath through with your best deep yoga breathing and still have tears and have to restrain yourself from punching him.  Even though he's being gentle-ish.  And tells you to let him know if it's too much....after you mutter the "f" word sort of under your breath.  Or maybe sort of stage-whisper-ish.  Whatever.  He did tell me I didn't need to apologize after he hit a particularly painful spot and I nearly jumped (involuntarily) off the table.  He also told me that he's had the same work and it does suck.  I noticed.  

Not going to lie.  Forties kind of suck.  At least physically.  Difficult to remain chipper about your middle aged body when it's being traitorous and not working well.  It does make me question what the heck those in the forties who don't take care of themselves feel like.  I take quite good care and I'm still a train wreck!  Well, maybe just a derailment.  I'm working on it.

The good news in what was a gloomy weather and feeling kind of day is that it's not like it's a serious illness or anything.  It's not fatal. It will get better.  I just need to be patient....and anyone who knows me, knows that's NOT my strong point.

So here's my goal...by August, I will be running 5k 3 times a week.  Seems reasonable, doesn't it?  Now I have something to work towards :)

Murphy's Law

I was a little distracted yesterday. Drove hubs car (which used to be mine), and apparently left the lights on when I got to school. Crazy, crazy day, I didn't eat lunch until 3:00. Did a bunch of stuff to get ready for two days at a Ministry of Ed planning session, popped in and out of my friend's Arbonne party in the staff room and then was rushing to get away to pick my kiddo at school after his rugby practice. Only to find that the really cool feature that turns the lights off for you no longer works. And it doesn't even have a beep to tell you they're on! So dead battery. Get one of the hostesses of the party to come boost me, crossed the jumper cables because I didn't see the +symbol and was going by colour, which zapped the stereo (I think, what do I know, I crossed the damned cables!). But I got home. Luckily my older son has a car and could get his brother. I interrupted a date to get him to do it, but his girlfriend likes us. Luckily.

Went to change into yoga pants and my favourite Fighting Irish hoodie to take the dog for a long walk and think about the stuff that's crowding my brain and making me distracted. Pulled sweatshirt over my head and decided it smelled like cat urine. And was damp. My geriatric incontinent cat had peed on my fav comfy hoodie. Which I had on. Eeewwwwwww! Let that be a lesson to always put stuff away properly!

It was at that point I ditched the walk, and poured a big glass of Sauv Blanc. In my Lakehead hoodie. Go Thundercats. They're no Irish, but they'll do. Did I mention daughter is aThundercat and is moving home from school today? I miss her.

Anyway, it's a good thing that there. was only one glass of wine left in the bottle, or I might have had a slight hangover today. And red wine isn't doing it for me lately. The smarter thing would have been to go for the walk and had a gentle yoga practice, but with Murphy in full force, I was afraid I'd get hit by a car. Or attacked by one of the many loose dogs Chase and I see on our walks. My house was definitely safer. And had corn chips, olive hummus and spicy salsa. It's a meal, right? It was last night.

My mind is still crowded, I'm still distracted, and my sweatshirt didn't get washed yet. But I did wash the kiddo's rugby clothes. Although, my Eco friendly high efficiency, low water machine doesn't always get all of the mud out. And I haven't packed for my overnight trip to the conference. But I think I've booted Murphy. At least I hope I have.

Btw, I fully realize my Murphy's Law day is nothing compared to what others endure on a daily basis. Just believe me when I say that I understand that. My blog helps me to put things in perspective, but there are things I don't share. Things that would be considered TMI and would betray the confidence of others. I'm distracted, and just blaming it on Murphy.

Ok, time to get my stuff together for the next couple of days. I feel better having blurted all that out. Happy Wednesday my people.

No running :(

The bad news is that I've resolved my hip issue, but now have a very sore knee. But I think I have the answer. I think that when my hip was bad (like the past year and a half) the change in my gait not only started a bunion, but inflamed my IT band. So while it's painful, it is very easily treatable. Dr A will be driving a new tricked out Jeep by the time I've resolved all of these issues! I guess lots of foam roller action (it frickin' hurts!) and therapy and I'll be good as new. Or least any other middle aged woman :)

It's a bummer, but I'm relieved that it isn't something more serious. And it means that eventually I will be running again. For now walking and strength training with some yoga thrown in for good measure. Around the craziness of life. No problem.

Speaking of craziness, the end is in sight! My huge project that I've been working on for over a year about improving math instruction is almost wrapped up. I spent a huge chunk of the weekend working on it--and when I added up the hours actually working on it (not counting the countless hours I've spent thinking and obsessing about it), I've logged almost 140. And I'm not done! But I've realized that I'll never really be done, just done for now. When it's finished, it kills 2 proverbial birds with one stone, because I am using it to satisfy my principals practicum as well. Which means the current course (and associated workload) is the end of the coursework/research for a while. Until I complete my Masters. But I can use the work I've done up until now for credit, and my math project is an excellent starting point for my thesis. Interesting topic for someone who always hated math in school and worked very hard to get decent math grades, no?

Perhaps when I'm done this project and the course I'll actually have time to clean my house from top to bottom, instead of the lick and a promise it's been getting all school year. Or maybe I should hire someone to do it for me while I go to the beach......no, that doesn't sit well. I'll do it and then recover at the beach.

Happy Earth Day by the way! I hope everyone gets the chance to spend some time in nature enjoying it. I'm planning to!

Weirdo magnet

I've come to the conclusion that I am a total weirdo magnet. Three friend requests on Facebook from men I don't know in the past month. One was a military romance scammer (I guess the fact that I'm married isn't a deterrent), one from a guy in England but of Danish nationality (I am beautier than the queen of England), and one from a guy who spells Dave "Dve". Creepy. Very creepy. I am disturbed by this. Totally. And I wonder, what is it in my profile picture that makes me appear to be inviting this kind of attention? My profile says I'm married, for heavens sake! So what are the options? I've reported them on Facebook, and adjusted my privacy settings, and blocked them. Here's the thing though, with social media if you tighten the privacy settings too much, then people you may not be friend switch, but actually know can't request you, or send you a message. And there are people with whom is like to reconnect if the opportunity arose. Anyone else ever have this problem?

I always was a weirdo magnet, all through school, in the grocery store, on elevators, at the mall. I guess Facebook is just the newest way that I attract bizarre people. I know it sounds totally judgmental, but it is seriously creepy. I think I know why hubs wants me to get a big scary dog when the boys have moved out. A frothing at the mouth snarling Rottweiler would be a wonderful deterrent in reality. I think I'm going to go post some rotti pictures on my profile. Maybe it will work in virtual reality too.

Happy Easter!

I wish everyone a very Happy Easter! I just got the blogger app, which I found out about purely by accident and I thought I'd try it out.

This is how Chase and I spend our weekend mornings. Even when it's Easter.

Spring update....also known as, yes I'm still alive

I feel like it's been a very long time since I've written a blog post.  Everything is  fine, I'm still alive, just rather busy with life.  I started a new course last weekend.  Which actually is a manageable amount of work, but does entail spending entire weekends cooped up at the York School Board offices.  When I was sitting there last weekend, I was sure that I had totally lost my grip on reality.  Working a course into an already overflowing life....and brain?!  But when I was hauling my tired butt out of bed on Saturday morning, I reminded myself that in July I will be enjoying my deck and the beach instead of spending 3 weeks taking the course.  That made it easier.  And I will FINALLY be done with taking courses for a while.  At least until I decide it's time to do the Masters I've been wanting to do.  But I will get some credit for all of the courses I've already taken.

In fitness/health news, I haven't been to the gym in a couple of weeks.  I hurt my back, which caused my dratted hip to flair up.  And now that's all feeling better, I have a cold.  The first cold of the year (yay homeopathic immunity shots!), but I spent yesterday afternoon falling asleep while watching movies and was in bed for the night before 8 o'clock.  I'm hoping by Monday I'll be feeling like taking my sorry carcass to the gym.  I may do a gentle yoga practice today or tomorrow, depending on how I feel.  My bones are feeling creaky.

I got my new glasses this past week.  They are fantastic, but took a few days to get used to.  I kind of felt like I was in a tunnel.  Which caused vertigo.  I have to say, that made me panicky, these babies cost a fortune.  But a few days later, and they're working just fine.  Except for the fingerprints.  I must get better about cleaning them daily.

I have been pinteresting like crazy lately.  Takes my mind off of my crazy life, and I'm getting inspiration for the house and gardens/landscaping.  I found this, which I thought might be my solution to raised beds for my veggie garden that I am determined to plant this year.  Galvanized watering tanks.  And I love the way it looks!  But, not being a livestock owner, I had no idea what the cost would be.  So I went to the handy-dandy TSC website and found out they would cost over $300 a piece.  Not exactly cost effective.  I'm looking at at least 3, maybe 4.  I can buy alot of lumber for that much money.  If anyone happens to know a farmer in this part of Ontario that has leaky watering troughs, let me know.  You have to put holes in the bottom anyway, and if someone's replacing theirs, I would gladly take them.

Next I decided I love these.  Haven't priced them out yet.  Or convinced hubs to build them.

We'll see.  It may be best to just use regular old lumber.  I wonder if my dad has any scrap sawmilled boards laying around?  But, the whole point is that I want raised beds to plant veggies.  I have the perfect spot, a part of the yard that is essentially useless, next to the house, and the tap is right there for watering.

We're also going to redesign the beds at the front of the house and change the configuration of the walkway.  I'm not loving the patio stone walkway the builder put in, and we finally know what we want to do.  I have the picture in my head.  Should be really easy for hubs to see my vision (right?! No "discussions" over that.....)

I'm also trying to pick new paint colours for the house.  Hubs is desperate to paint, and he's right, it needs it badly.  All the nail pops need to be repaired, and lots of places that the paint is dinged and marks left.  I did make him promise to wait until after the course is done.  I will literally lose my mind and need to spend time in the psychiatric wing of the hospital if I'm trying to live through painting disarray and work and course.  It's amazing how many beautiful neutral colours there are.  Makes it difficult to choose.  

That's life in a nutshell.  I am so looking forward to warm weather, the snow to be gone (it's at that dirty time to go stage) and to get into my gardens.  The school year is zooming by, and before I know it I will be considered an experienced vice-principal.  Crazy that one year is the bar for determining experienced/inexperienced!  Since it's supposed to be warm today, and the sunshine is beckoning, I will be outside for at least part of the day.

Happy Easter!  Happy spring!

aging gracefully? hmmmph!

I have come to an inevitable truth of aging.  It is expensive.  I just dropped a grand on new glasses.  That's right, between eye exam and cost of said glasses, a thousand smackeroos.  Once my insurance pays out, it will have only cost me about $400.  Honestly, what do people without the means do?  Umm, yeah, right, they just don't see very well.  And this is mainly because of aging.  You know, once you hit forty...yadda yadda.

So when you spend a fortune on glasses so that you can see to do your job, it makes the cash spent on other things to aid in aging seem reasonable.  Like hundreds of $$ on supplements to ease the passage from youth to menopause....perimenopause is an unforgiving bitch.  Just saying.  Supplements galore, and still experiencing night sweats and other unpleasantness.  Good times, let me tell you.

And I don't colour my hair or buy expensive facial stuff.  How much would that cost?  I don't even want to know.  I'm good with minimalist facial/hair care.  I can't afford it because I choose to be able to see instead :)

In other aging news, I visited the new family doctor yesterday.  It should be noted that he was confused that I've been on his patient list for three years, but he only met me yesterday.  The concept of not visiting the doctor frequently, and taking no medications seemed foreign to him.  But because I was obviously reluctant to become a frequent patient, he took me seriously.  He has ordered a boatload of tests, bloodwork, an ultrasound, and a referral to an endocrinologist with plans for a follow-up sleep study.  I'm not crazy about all of these tests, but it is nice to be taken seriously and not told to eat less and exercise more, or that it's all in my head.  I totally believe in naturopathy, but realize its limits.  It is time to find out what else is going on in my body.  I don't buy this "it's just a part of aging" crap.  I don't intend to die any time soon, and I fully intend to live life fully.  Since I plan to live to at least 100, I'm not even middle aged yet.

March Break is over half over, and I'm a little sad.  And apparently Mother Nature is experiencing perimenopausal symptoms too....warm one day, freezing and snowing again the next.  Last year on March Break we were wearing shorts and t-shirts.  This year I'm still wearing my full length down-filled coat.  I would like to at least wear my spring coat.  I can live without shorts, but seriously?!  Enough with the snow.

Spring cannot come soon enough, although as I look at my calendar, I realize that the next few months until summer are going to be crazy.  Good thing I will be able to see, at least.

 

Enough already!

Anyone else sick of snow?  Storms?  After a beautiful day today, by 4:00 pm the wind and drifting started and we are supposed to get walloped again.  This time a charming mixture of rain and wet snow, along with 65 km/hr gusts of wind.  And I can tell you that the wind has started.  It's howling all around the house. I think Mother Nature is suffering from perimenopause.  I have some supplements that might help that.....one woman in that stage of life in this house is plenty :)

It's really difficult to hang onto positivity and light when this winter deal keeps dragging on and on.  We need a good thaw, and some sunshine.  Actually alot of sunshine.  If we just had some sun, we could plod through a little easier.  You with me on that one?

One little spot of goodness in this exhausting day?  Hubs left me a chocolate bar on my beside table.  Which I believe would be thoroughly enjoyable along with a couple episodes of my newest favourite tv show on dvd, Sons of Anarchy.  I'm addicted.

In other news, this is my 200th blog post.  Which is awesome.  And makes me wish I had something to give away.  But the only thing handy that I'd like to give away is my crappy winter attitude. No one wants that....and I'm working on being kind to others.  Not the best way to go about human kindness!

My bloggy friend Tina at http://thriftingwithcake.blogspot.ca/ shared this on her blog today.  I can't tell you how much I love it.  Thanks Tina!  (and I hope you don't mind.....)  My give away--go visit her blog.  She's a funny lady.  (and for some unknown reason, I can't centre the darned thing.  So be it.  I'm not in the mood to argue with technology today!)



And another one swiped from Girls on the Run facebook page (who by the way have a couple of chapters in Ontario but aren't adding any others currently, total bummer, I'd like to start it at my school)



These make me feel better about the snow situation.  But not nearly as good as spring and warm weather are going to make me feel.  Looking forward to runs outside (not a cold weather outdoor runner.  yuck), wearing a spring jacket and shoes and an all around feeling of general well-being that comes with nice weather.

So Ontario friends, batten down the hatches to get through this storm, and dream of spring with me.  And everyone else living in Snowmageddon (also referred to as the Snowpocalyse on a friend's fb page today), same to you.  Maybe if we all concentrate hard enough, we can make it happen.

Too much perfectionism?

I have always known that I suffer from perfectionism.  In a very big way.  And yes, sometimes it makes me crazy.  But I've always been fine with what others do, just hold myself to ridiculously high standards (recognizing it and being to control it are clearly 2 very different things).  I have just been smacked right in the face with the realization that perhaps my expectations of others are too high as well.  I console myself with the knowledge that I would never ask someone (anyone!) to do something I wouldn't do myself.

However....is that fair and realistic?  If I'm willing to be a workaholic, does that mean I expecting others to be as well?  I don't think so, but maybe that's not the impression others are getting.  I think I may be making others feel badly about their abilities.  Not at all what I would ever intend.  I have a freakish ability to memorize policy & procedure (never argue with me about the rules of a game....I have memorized the rules...it's in there, honest), and an internal disposition to follow them to a "t".  i's dotted and t's crossed.  A nearly encyclopedic knowledge of grammar rules.  I can't help it.  And it's not personal when I disagree with someone.  It's just the way it is.  Years of language study and grammar courses at the university level will do that to a person.  I know what a subordinate clause looks like, and I know how to use it successfully in a sentence.

My children accuse me regularly of having high standards.  Too high in their opinion.  So sue me.  Or do your own thing anyway (which is clearly the road they sometimes take....but that is another story).  I think there's a direct correlation between my standards for myself and my professional success.  That makes me happy.

If it makes it any better, my perfectionism can be crippling and make it nearly impossible to meet my own goals.  Health and fitness being the prime examples.

We can't all be perfect all of the time.  Even though I like to try.  I don't think it's killed my dreams, but maybe it has.  I just don't want my perfectionism to be responsible for killing the dreams (or self-esteem) of others.

snowstorm of the century?!

We are bracing for a whomping big snowstorm.  It's been said that it will be the worst snowstorm in years.  It certainly looks like it on the radar.  While I have no trouble going to work on a no bus day, if it's going to be really bad out, I hope it's bad enough to close roads and close schools.  I find no bus days really stressful--staff try to get to work, often on rural poorly maintained winter roads--I worry!  I'd really like to get to school, I need the weekend to read report cards.  If people can't get to school, I can't get their reports and will have to read them online.  Not ideal.

And I'd have to say, not a great time for my eyes to have a flare-up.  I've been walking around looking like I have a wicked case of pink eye in my right eye.  It's not, it's just a flare-up, I'm guessing caused by autoimmune issues.  Good times, let me tell you.  People love hanging out with someone who looks like they're going to infect them with conjunctivitis.  It's not catching, really.  Just very irritating.  And gross.

Can I just say I'm bout ready for significant beach time?  Snowstorms, cold, crappy driving--yuck.  Ready for this to be over.  On that note, I have noticed that the days are growing longer.  Happily noticed!  Nice to be headed to the longest day of the year, dontcha think?  And with the longest day, beach weather.

Gym Rat

I forgot how much I LOVE going to the gym.  Cardio machines, weight machines, mats, medicine balls....*sigh*.  I joined a new gym today.  In the little teeny town down the road.  It's lovely, brand new, clean, shiny, no broken machines, no stinky gym sock smell (you know the one I mean...like the way boys smell!).  The owners are very nice, and it costs about the same as the gym I used to go to, without the 35 minute drive.  I can handle about 12 minutes to get there.

I went for my first workout today, a warm-up on the elliptical trainer (oh, elliptical, how I've missed you!), easy workout on the machines (not too much starting out again) and then Hannah the owner showed me some TRX stuff.  I loved it!  The TRX was fun, and I know it kicked my butt--I will feel it tomorrow.  And I can't wait to do it again.  That is the success of a good workout--looking forward to doing it again!

I still love yoga, and NEED to do yoga to stretch out the kinks, but I need this too.  This is a part of the balance equation that I need so desperately.  The bonus?  Working out with weights reaps very quick benefits and provides much motivation to keep my diet tight and allergen-free (including sugar!).  Additionally, it's only 8:20 the night before back to school and I'm tired and feel ready for bed.  A great thing after 2 weeks of late to bed and sleeping late.  I should be ready to rise at my usual time of 5:30!

Epsom salt and lavender essential bath, Magnesium Calm drink....time for bed.  For everyone who is heading back to work after the holidays, have a wonderful day.  Fingers crossed for a drama-free, quiet day :)