Thursday, March 31, 2011


Life has gotten away on me again. I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed. It's too busy and I'm not getting enough exercise. I made the decision to skip the running clinic. It's just one more thing in an already overcrowded life. I would like to walk away and leave my life behind for a few weeks. A beach, a pile of books, nowhere to have to be, and no one to answer to. Yoga when I feel like it, swimming and running when I feel like it, but all on my own time. Sounds divine doesn't it? The blahs will pass, this I know. The real issue is figuring how to plan my life so that I don't get to this. I'm not big into feeling weepy and overwhelmed, that's not how I usually roll, but that seems to be par for the course over the past few weeks. And it's not work. Work is the one place I feel like myself. *sigh* I had my B12 shot today. Maybe that will help.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

I love sunny Saturdays

Sunshine streaming in the studio windows was so wonderful at yoga this morning. Absolutely divine. I choose my spot closest to the windows, and with the morning sun shining, I felt great! It is a *brisk* day in Ontario, but the warmth of the sun is increasing every day. A truly joyful practice today, after a crap practice on Tuesday. I was exhausted on Tuesday, but with a good night's sleep, morning practice was just the thing today. It's funny how you feeling truly does affect your practice.

Interestingly, I had a dream last night about the lovely Sarah (yoga teacher extraordinaire) trying to develop a class at the gym I used to go to in Orangeville. I was rushing in to get a good spot, and had to stop to speak with Rob (the psycho trainer). I congratulated him on becoming the new manager of the gym (he is, I got an email a couple of weeks ago), and gave him a huge hug. It was an entirely too friendly hug, really nothing like the kind of relationship I have EVER had with him. Weird. And even though he shaves his head and is buff and pumped beyond belief, he was skinnier and had hair. Double weird.

When I told my son Jackson about the dream, his response was that I must be supposed to go back to Rob as my trainer, and start working with weights again. Now, I have been considering weight training again, I do miss it, and it does wonders for muscle definition and fat burning potential. I have really missed Rob and his workouts (ok, he kicks my ass, but he is funny and cruel at the same time!), but I don't want to go to O'ville to the gym. It doesn't fit very well in my life right now. But I do miss kickboxing especially. And I do miss Rob. What to do, what to do?! I don't want to undo all of the good joint loosening work I've done with yoga. I do want to kick up the fat burning. I don't however think there will be alot of hugging of Rob going on. And I still don't know what Rob being skinnier and with hair has to do with anything!

I'm looking forward to a nice long walk with the pup and hubs later on today. And the running clinic starts Wednesday. Hopefully I can work out how I'm going to get there, and get Seamus to basketball practice. There's always something :)

Have a wonderful sunny Saturday. I'm going to try to find the yoga in housework...

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

back to the grind

March break flew by! Yesterday was the first day back to school, and I'm exhausted already. Is it the getting up, showered and dressed (big effort compared to last week!), and then spending the day at school that's got me tired? Is it the planning for a supply teacher for today and tomorrow because I'm back at the board office working on the huge math assessment again? I don't know. I do know that the kids were wacky (especially the class I teach French to!), my own kids were grumpy and tired last night, and waking up with a headache is never a good sign.

But there are a lot of things for which to be grateful:

1. Jess got her acceptance letter for Wilfred Laurier University. So now she can choose where she goes (and likely partly explains why she was freaked out last night), and has an entrance scholarship at Laurier and Lakehead. Hard work does pay off!
2. Yoga tonight. It has become such an important part of my life and I am soooo excited before class! Like a kid going to Disney. And that's a good thing.
3. Compliments about my kiddos. Really. When supply or student teachers find out who your kids are, and have glowing compliments about their behaviour and smarts, it feels great. Maybe I'm not doing a bad job after all!
4. Good friends. People (at work and outside of work) who I enjoy spending time with, and enjoy my company as well. I am truly blessed.
5. Supportive family and spouse. They see me at my absolute worst, and pick me up and brush me off when I need it. They also share my great joys. Again I'm truly blessed.
6. Living in a country where women have as many opportunities for education and career advancement as men. I'm always working toward the next step (can you say driven?!), and although I sometimes drive myself crazy, I know how lucky I am. I cannot imagine not having an education, or not having the opportunity to have a wonderful career. I can only imagine what a miserable *creature* I would be to live with then!

So while I do a lot of grumbling and complaining, I know I am very lucky. I have a wonderful life, filled with blessings. I love my family, I love my friends, I love my class.

If you are reading this, then there's a good chance you are one of the wonderful family or friends that I mentioned above. Thanks!

Have a wonderful Tuesday :)

Friday, March 18, 2011

walk the walk?

On Wednesday, Jackson had an appt with his acne dr in Yorkville (not a city gal, but I love Yorkville!). Most recent course of topical therapy hasn't been terribly effective, and Dr B wants us to consider Accutane. Accutane is a scary sounding drug! I've done some research, and I feel the possible side effects are too scary to even consider letting my baby take it. Wreck your liver or colon, just to get rid of acne??? Seems ridiculous to even consider it. Now having said all of that, I have been wanting the kiddos to visit my fabulous ND, Lia, for some time now. I broached the topic with J this a.m., and he's not terribly thrilled with the prospect of giving up wheat/sugar/dairy, which I think will likely be the first course of action she prescribes. BUT, I have had such incredible success with the therapies she has me on, that I think it's worth a try. And I mean really great success. Without being too graphic, I don't give Lady MacBeth a run for her money anymore...ok, I borrowed that line from Marian Keyes, but it fits :)

Then I read an eco-blog I follow about being "eco" at work, and the comment was made about "walking the walk, not just talking the talk." And I realized that if I let my precious child take a potentially dangerous drug, when I won't even take ibuprophen anymore, then I am not practising what I preach. Up until now, I haven't *inflicted* my lifestyle and health choices too much on my kiddos, but maybe it's time. I want them to be as healthy as possible. And on another more selfish note, if they are following the same diet, then there won't be stuff I can't eat in the house either. And as an additional selling point--it will likely enhance their athletic abilities as well. It would be awesome for Blake Griffin to come out and endorse naturopathy, that would so help my cause! (for the uninitiated, Blake is the hottest rookie in the NBA this year, was drafted last year, but missed the season due to injury, spent the healing time training his *smokin' hot* bod, and has taken the league by storm) Or Georges St-Pierre (you know, GSP from the UFC...Whew, is it warm in here?? lol)

So, in my own convoluted way, I am trying to say that I need to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. And that needs to start at home. It's time for me to be a little more persistent with my own family, get them on the walk too.

Speaking of walking, took my Chasey-pup for a lovely, sunny 5k walk yesterday. She needs a little help walkin' the walk too, she's a little *plumper* than she's ever been. (winter doldrums, you know) What a glorious, sunny springy day! Nothing beats walking with your bestie, sunshine on your face! Not so much sun here in Dundalk today, but I have hope, it is coming! Spring is on the way....

Have a glorious Friday...

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

domestic diva & who said yoga isn't hard work?!

Lovely yoga class last night. Sarah is trying to encourage all of us to develop a home practice, and is trying to get us to go through the various sun salutations without her guiding us step by step. Shall I just say that the Utkatasana (chair pose) series is some hard work! Feeling it in the hamstrings today, and again with the trapezius muscles. But it is gratifying going through all 3 of the sun saluation series we've been working on by myself. I'm even transitioning from Chaturunga (plank) to upward facing dog without lowering right to the mat. Well, at least some of the time :)

I was excited to receive an email about upcoming running clinics from the Saugeen Triathlon club. These are the same clinics that I went to last spring and fall. Only $30 for 8 weeks, everyone gets a technical shirt from Saucony, and there's a level for everyone--from straight walking, right to running for the whole hour. The shirt alone is worth the $30. Any of my buddies in the area who are interested, let me know and I'll forward the email.

I've been reading blogs about simple living, domestic bliss, and as I said in my last post, it gets me kind of yearning for that type of lifestyle. So this morning as I made healthy banana muffins for my kids and cleaned up my disaster of a kitchen, I pondered what life was actually like when I was a stay-at-home mom. While it all sounds so idyllic, I realized that when I was trying to live that kind of life when the kids were little, I struggled with depression, self-medicated with baking and eating, all in search of the elusive seratonin I so desperately needed. It was an unending cycle of self-hatred. I took university courses to try to maintain my sanity, and filled my days with crafting and unending projects. I wasn't able to be the kind of mom I wanted to be, and shed tears of frustration on a regular basis.

So, while I would love to live that lifestyle, I know it is absolutely not for me. I love my job, and working with children, and while the pace sometimes gets to me, I absolutely know that it is what's right for me. I feel like I have the best of both worlds. Teaching allows me to use my brain, and I get summers, March Break and Christmas vacation to indulge in that other part of me. I still take courses in my, ahem, spare time, and enjoy shuttling my kids to various activities. My career keeps me sane, and as I move further along my path, I experience the constant drive to do more. Thus the courses and all of the leadership workshops.

God bless stay-at-home mamas, living the simple, organic life. And God bless working mamas who do a much better job of parenting because of their jobs/careers. I'm going to spend the next few hours being a domestic diva--in my own fashion, and may even do some professional reading, and throw in a couple of sun salutations. 'Cause that's what makes me happy!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

aaahhhhhh, massage

I am pleased to share that I am having a much better day today. I have already done several loads of laundry, caught up on my favourite blogs and been for my much needed massage. Later on today I am headed to the dermatologist for the head-to-toe-mole-patrol, and maybe the thrift store afterwards. I've been checking out all of these simple/handmade/thrift type blogs, and have realized that I miss my hobby of fixing up older furniture with groovy designs and paint colours. I used to spend hours doing it when the kids were little, I was really poor, and unemployed.

I'm also very excited to have some new red fabric to recover our upholstered dining room chairs. They've been around since the boys were little, and gross doesn't even begin to describe the state of the fabric that's on them. The bonus of buying fabric at IKEA? It was cheap and if I get tired of red, or they get too grungy, I won't feel bad about getting rid of it, and trying something else.

This beautiful sunny, mild weather has me thinking about getting outside to run again. Chase clearly needs some runs, and I love running outside! I know I won't get to it today, but tomorrow morning, that's my plan. I am heading to yoga this evening, and I don't want to be all stiff and tight from running either. I need to get all stretched out and loose again. And I have missed my Tuesday evening fix sooooo much!

Interestingly, my joints and vertebrae are all popping and adjusting since my massage. Lisa loosened me up enough that everything is working its way back to the right spot. Apparently, your shoulders are NOT supposed to be shrugged up around your ears?! Who knew?

Got to run, the Mom taxi service is being called upon...
Have a wonderful, peaceful, March Break day!

Monday, March 14, 2011

a little retail therapy???

Feeling much better. Still annoyed about the whole car key situation, but found some divine new Birkenstocks today. Lime green and pink and blue paisley. Hello, it's like they were designed just for me! And I also bought some really cute slip-on ankle high green Bogs. I can't wait to wear them! I think I will look so awesome wearing either ones with my yoga pants. Perhaps a better look than cropped yoga pants with Uggs and about 5 inches of pasty white leg showing.

Looking forward to yoga tomorrow evening...and I will be wearing my new Bogs to get there.

I have a feeling it's going to be one of those days...

Yogic breathing, don't fail me now! Day started off when hubs got up to his very loud alarm for work, about 4:30. Fell back asleep to be rudely awoken by doggy roaring down the stairs, chasing the cat. Several times. Allistair is a pissant cat. Chase the dog was aptly named. Fell back asleep for only minutes when phone rang (it's now 5:30). Hubs. "I just realized I have your car keys in my pocket, here at work." No problem, I'll use the spare set. "Jess has them in her purse, here at work." WTF?! Let me say they are extremely lucky I don't have to work today because it's March Break. However, had already made plans to go to IKEA with Mom, said I would drive. My car is a couple of years old. Mom's is ancient, and not always reliable. Oh goody. Called Mom, we are now taking her car to IKEA. Hoping, with both fingers crossed that she asks me to drive. And that car makes it to city and back.

Yoga has done me some good, I didn't shriek in anger at dumbass hubs. Did hang up rather abruptly, but not long ago would have completely freaked out first. Did some focused breathing. Still would like to kick his ass, but will likely cool down by the time I see him tonight. Daughter is going to be the recipient of a speech about not having her own car keys until she is paying the car payment.

Hubs just called to make sure Mom can drive to IKEA. Did not manage to breath deeply and not shriek. Cavalier attitude sent me over the edge. Too upset to do yoga, and also don't want to foul my mat with tears of frustration and fury. Mat needs to be free of negative energy.

I guess I should just be thankful that I don't have little kids to get to school, and a very heavy toddler. I distinctly remember another time my keys were at work with hubs, and stroller was locked in my van. Jackson was one very heavy toddler to walk half way across town with. So was Seamus. I guess that would be at least 2 times that has happened to me. 20 years later and he still hasn't learned.

Humph! It's going to be one of those days. A stop at Lululemon may be in order...

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Spring ahead!

Am I the only one very excited that we have changed to Daylight Savings Time? While I don't like the hour less sleep, I LOVE that we have daylight late into the evening! I am spoiled this year, my body will be well adjusted to the time change by the end of March Break, and well, nothing on the break is that pressing that I will need that hour of sleep.

The time change gives me hope that spring is almost here, and images of gardens and warm sunshine walks dance in my head. And everyone knows what follows spring, right? SUMMER!!! Beaches, shorts and t-shirts, bathing suits, fresh local veggies, mmmmmm. I absolutely cannot wait to hang out on the beach at Memorial Park in Meaford, reading my book and watching Seamus swim all afternoon. My hands-down favourite thing to do in summer. Of course, arriving at the beach after a peaceful early morning of watering flowers, drinking coffee on the deck and enjoying my backyard, Chase at my side.

Have I idealized summer bliss? Of course! Allistair will be meowing plaintively at the screen door, begging to be allowed out, there will be the inevitable arguments with the kids about wearing sunscreen, Chase will walk on my flowers and be totally confused when I tell her to get out of the gardens. But it will be warm, there won't be snow and even on the coolest day, a sweatshirt will be warm enough. I will be wearing birkenstocks without socks, or flipflops, my skin will be a nice pale peach colour, instead of pasty white and it will be SUMMER!

Sun salutations on the deck in the early morning sun...bliss. Running outside, Chase to keep me company....bliss. Fresh Ontario strawberries....double bliss!

Enjoy the first Sunday of DST my friends, good things will follow!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

feeling much more like me!

Today is a better day. I really felt irritable and not at all my self yesterday. Beer hangover, without the hangover? I don't know, but I do know I feel much better today!

Did get myself into some low blood sugar trouble yesterday whilst shoe shopping at Sportchek. But honestly shoe shopping with Seamus is enough to do that to anyone. Left the store and sat down, Rick got me a snack and all was well. Note to self--throw a protein bar into purse, definitely a good idea. Fainting at the mall--not a good thing (I didn't actually faint, but that's where it was headed). Luckily I had already found my new running shoes, Sportchek is having their buy one get one 1/2 off deal. I don't technically need them yet, but I will, so it just made good financial sense. And it's always nice to get new kicks :)

My usual Sunday morning solitude has been invaded. Seamus is up, and since Jackson and a friend are sleeping in the basement, guess what we're doing?! Why, who could have guessed that we would be watching a-gasp-basketball game?! Yes, you CAN watch the Raptors all hours of the day and night. I am seriously ready for an end to basketball for the season.

Apparently sleeping boys have awoken, now all 3 are playing Black Ops in the basement. So bye bye Raptors!

Have I blogged lately that I am SOOOOO ready for spring? I'm dreaming of running outside, long walks with Chase (my wonder-dog who needs to lose her winter weight), planting some gardens. I picked up Martha Stewart Living yesterday, usually she gives me a huge pain in my ass, but it's her special gardening issue. I miss my gardens from the old house with the acre lot. I am planning some beautiful vegetable/flower mixed gardens in the backyard. My tomato pots will be moved to the back, and my beautiful deck that Rick built last year is just begging for pots of herbs, along with my usual pots of flowers. Hollyhocks and sunflowers along the back fence. Edible flowers like nastursiums (that's not spelled right, but my brain can't figure it out right now), some beautiful perennials, ahhhh bliss. Do you think my neighbours would mind a small enclosure with some chickens so I can be just like Martha? For those who don't know where I live, it's in a brand new subdivision in town....and my one neighbour would have a complete fit. It might be worth it just to see that.... And an outdoor hutch for the bunnies.

Morning coffee on the deck, puttering around weeding and makes my heart flutter just thinking about it. My dream is to have mostly gardens, with just a little bit of lawn. Rick's dream is different, but eventually my gardens will encroach on his lawn. If you're reading this honey, sorry...sort of ;P

Maybe we should sell this house and move to the country...

Time to quit blogging and get ready for church. Wishing everyone a peaceful Sunday morning.

Saturday, March 5, 2011


Maybe it's just the after--effects of the 2 beer I drank last night, but today is a kind of blue, introspective day. Yoga this morning really helped. I notice that with every time I practice I am more aware of something about myself...some good, some not so good. Lots of water, allergen-free food, I'll be fine.

My friend and coworker Melissa asked me last night if we're still going to do yoga after school. The perfect reminder to get my butt in gear. As I get to know my colleagues on a more personal level, I realize that I have the perfect support network. If we work together, we can each achieve more. I know, very new-agey of me :) (insert retching noises....I'm honestly not going to write one of "those" books!)

Last night some friends from work were enjoying a couple beverages at Ryan's house, and one of his dogs was faking being in a down position. It was so funny, and the perfect authentic downward facing dog. I love when you notice these things!

Enough introspection for one day, time to get ready to head out for some athletic shoe shopping for Seamus (and hopefully me), and some other errands before basketball.

Have a wonderful rainy March day.