Wednesday, June 19, 2013


I can feel it coming.  I'm starting to be able to breathe again.  Literally.  I think I've been breathing shallow, shallow breaths for so long that I didn't realize it had once again become a habit.  I wasn't so tired I felt nauseous today.  Still tired, but not bone achy nauseous kind of tired.  Today was kind of wild, but I could handle it.  A few days ago I would have been able to feel the panic rising up into my throat.  One more stressor that was going to put me over the edge.  

Oh, I had my meltdown on Sunday.  The kind of dissolving into weeping that is sometimes just what you need to break free of the stress.  To be able to get up and move on.  You know, the despair that nearly sends husbands into full on panic.  If SHE is melting down like this, what the heck am I going to do?  The right answer of course is to pour a beverage of choice (tea, wine, diet coke) and offer to punch the creep that tipped her over the edge in the throat.  The ridiculousness of that statement usually snaps me out of my state.  Even though I could never condone violence.

Except when it comes to sports.  As I said before, my son has started playing rugby.  Which ranks only slightly behind lacrosse in my enjoyment as a spectator.  As soon as I can figure out all of the ref hand signals, I will enjoy it fully.  Huge, hulking men throwing each other on the ground, piling up, shoving?  I'm in.  We went to see the Canada vs Ireland rugby game on Saturday night.  Because said son has the broken ankle, we got seats in the accessible section, because was in a wheelchair to get into the BMO Centre.  We sat right behind the Irish bench.  We could hear them talking.  It was amazing.  I am officially a Team Ireland fan, and loved every single minute of it.  I am buying tickets for both the Canada vs USA game and the All Blacks vs Canada.  Even if I end up going myself.  No number 19, Mike McCarthy (lock for Ireland), but it's rugby!  I can't wait.  Btw, if you PVRed the game Saturday, on TSN, you can see the back of my head in some shots.  From far away.  I'm going to watch to see if you can actually see our faces at any point.  Never something I thought I would ever do.  Seriously?  TSN?  Weird.  My only wish is that more lacrosse and rugby would be televised.  Because I relieve my aggression vicariously through it.

A few more days, and then sweet freedom.  Lots of time on the deck and at the beach.  Studying referee hand signals :)