bittersweet

Yesterday was the last day of school with students.  Today is the last day for teachers.  I am thrilled.  But also a little sad.  My last day with my "squirrels", whom I love dearly.  And also a little sad because there are people with hurt feelings and feeling sad.  And I can't change that for them, no matter how I wish I could.  I do think it is a very powerful message that I am being sent, reminding me to treat others with the kindness they deserve, and to think outside myself.  Because the hurt feelings have been caused through a lack of consideration, and not likely through maliciousness.  I say not likely, because I can't see in the heart of others, but only judge by their actions.  I for once am not the cause of the hurt, but the friend who is trying to help. 

Also sad because a couple of colleagues are moving to new schools, and I will miss them.  Yep, we all will.  Their new schools are super lucky.

I didn't get my run in yesterday, but I did have my massage and I made it to small group at church.  I will run today-I'm just not sure when!  I'm feeling good about running, and I'm determined to keep up with the clinic program--so run I must :)

I'm looking forward to some lazy days.  And going to the beach.  I can almost feel the sand between my toes.  Of course I will take some books--some professional reading, and some fluff.  I can't wait.  My hubs starts 2 weeks of holidays tomorrow too.  Maybe we'll actually get a day or two away on our own.  Surely the offspring can cope?!

I have imagined and planned a number of projects for the summer.  Look forward to some pictures.
Have a glorious day.
Namaste.

I love this!!

I swiped this from another blog called Skippetty Street--please give credit where credit is due.  This needs to be my mission statement.

running clinic

Yesterday was the first running clinic session.  Shall I just say that yoga has made me super-flexible (for me, anyway), but I have severely neglected cardio training.  So running clinic to ramp it up again.  My body felt great "running" (it was more of a jog), but my lungs didn't feel so great.  I had to use my inhaler.  Which is ok, except I was hoping that I was hoping to throw my inhaler away with my newfound allergy relief from naturopathy.  I'm hoping that with every time I run, it will get better.  But, I did it, and did better than alot of the non-asthmatics.  Not that it's a contest...well, everyone that knows me knows that everything is a contest...I'm working on it!  Honest :)

Of course no contest with my hubs, who was kind enough to try to pace himself with me.  But in fairness to him and his previous running experience, and much longer legs, I sent him ahead with some of the other faster runners.  He did check to make sure I hadn't keeled over though.  And my friend Lisa, fellow basketball Mom extraordinaire was a run leader and she ran with me for a few minutes.  Nice to catch up with her....conversationally anyway.  Lisa is a half-ironman graduate.  And a regular triathlete.  When I grow up I'd like to be as good as Lisa.

Went to a family joint birthday party at my brother and lovely sister-in-law's house, and my dad was asking me about yoga.  He has a number of health problems, including severe, chronic hip and shoulder pain.  He thinks yoga would help.  It likely would, but it kind of freaks me out that he will make it worse instead of better, and I will be the reason.  He asked me show him some "moves" (asana is not in his vocabulary).  I showed him a few standing poses, and he asked if I was more flexible than before I started practising.  I pointed out that last summer I couldn't touch my toes with totally bending my knees.  And then I showed him foward fold with kubera mudra (I know I didn't spell that right, sorry!).  Yep, I am WAY  more flexible!  I told him I'd lend him my Shiva Rea beginner yoga dvd, and I did mention that the swearing would prohibit me from taking him to the studio.  Because he will swear, loudly, and vehemently when he tries some asanas.  I will give it to him after his MRI.  I am not willing to help him make it worse.

I think some hatha practice to stretch out the kinks and stiffness from running is in order today.  I did stretch yesterday, but I'm still a little stiff today.  King pigeon pose might be a good idea.

Have a wonderful restful Sunday.
Namaste.

Is it over yet?

A harrowing day at school yesterday.  As a grade 4 teacher, I'm not usually called upon to explain to my students why talking about dildos, and where and why you put condoms, is not appropriate--especially when the students my darlings are enlightening are all of 6 years old.  Now, I'm all for openess, and children having knowledge about their bodies, etc, but even I couldn't quite rationalize those discussions with SK children.  The older grades are all doing sexual education in their health classes, and I guess my little guys are curious.  But it's not in the grade 4 curriculum, and I don't really want to get my name in the infamous "blue pages" (where the Ontario College of Teachers publishes the alleged wrongdoings of teachers, and the discipline handed out).  To be honest, I wasn't as shocked by the whole condom discussion as I was about the dildo conversation.  By a mennonite child.  Who because of culture and religion is excluded from any classes in health that deal with sexuality or reproduction.  I'm not even sure his mom will understand what I meant when I wrote the note referring to discussion of "an inappropriate sexual nature".  Guess I'll find out today if she understood or not.  I really don't want to educate her about dildos, when she's likely not even sure how she ended up with 5 kids.  Arghhhh!  And I was slightly traumatized by hearing from a child about his father's condoms and what he does with them.  His father is a local politician.

The other drama I dealt with was 2 students accusing a third student of "raping" a girl in our class.  Because he was playing with her at recess, and apparently she's the current belle of the ball in grade 4 romances.  Said little girl was very upset by all of this.  Imagine.  Then another girl wrote a nasty note about her, saying she's a liar, and she should quit "ruing" (ruining) other people's lives.  Because she has a crush on one of the boys involved, is jealous, and basically feels left out of the romance situation.  These are nine year olds I'm talking about!  So I guess round 2 will begin today.  With more recess discussions.  And how making up lies and trying to ruin friendships, make other people feel badly, is actually a form of bullying, and not the best way to win friends and influence people.

So I did what any completely frazzled and overwhelmed rational adult would do.  I demanded my hubs take me out to dinner, drank a pint of Harp, ate Guiness poutine (the closest I've found to real Quebec poutine in Ontario), ate yummy shrimp and lobster grilled flatbread and bought myself a pair of pewter coloured shoes for graduation at school.  Also bought my son a blackberry so I can locate him--more of a gps kind of idea--when he's out with his friends.  Thought about having a yoga practice, but after Vinyasa flow class on Tuesday the heads of my shoulders, and triceps are very sore.  We did alot of chaturunga transitioning to upward dog (without lowering completely), and worked on lifts.  So no yoga, but Irish beer.  Oh well.

I'm hoping for a less painful day (both from sore muscles and social issues!).  Maybe will be ready to do some gentle yoga after school, and take my pup for a long walk.  Only Irish beer in the house is Guiness, no Harp, so should be able to avoid beer consumption--Guiness is my least favourite beverage in the world!

Hoping everyone else is having a smoother week than I.  And it's only a few days and it will be over until September.

Slainte!

Pondering

This morning while making my breakfast smoothie, I was pondering my blog. Fitmom isn't really the best title anymore. My blog has become a place for me to talk about my allergies, parenting allergic teenage children, to blow off steam and to talk about my health goals. Yoga has helped me to let go of some unrealistic thoughts about myself, following the advice of my naturopath is helping me to heal from the inside out. And blogging about some of the other stuff in my life is helping me to process and deal, without stress eating, without being angry (ok, less angry) and give my mind a rest. So although I'm not sure the title is the best one, I'm going to continue the way I have been.

What's been going on lately:
1. Finished report cards. Whew. They are emotionally draining to write, I hate putting an evaluation of a kid on paper. I wish that all of the parents of my students knew how much it pains me to tell the absolute truth as I see it.
2. Finished my AQ course. I miss it already. I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely do have a sickness, I cannot be idle. It drives me nuts and I eat junk I shouldn't. Luckily the next course starts on July 4th.
3. Spent my weekend at a lacrosse tournament watching my youngest, Seamus, play some awesome box lacrosse. He's a big fan of hearing his Mommy screaming, "Go Shimmy go!" when he's on a breakaway. I'm sure his nickname makes others wonder about us. But Seamus means James in Irish, and when he was a baby his dad joking called him Shimmy. And it stuck. But I digress--the Shimster (and his older brother) is the athlete I wish I could be. If I had played box lacrosse and could have cross-checked, hit people with my stick, plowed right over people, as a child I'd likely have a lot less issues today. And he's not just good at lacrosse.
4. Only a week left of school. The kids are done, I'm done, and it's time for a well-deserved break. It feels more like crowd control than teaching these days. Which means it's time for it to be over.
5. I mentioned in an earlier post about someone dear to me who has been having health issues. I'm thrilled to say that it's not nearly as serious as initially thought. Thank God! And thank you to all of my friends who pray for my loved ones and I. I am truly blessed.
6. I'm reading a book called "Crazy Love" and trying to make it to a small group about the book at our church. So far I'm reading, but not getting to small group. Tomorrow. I will go tomorrow.
7. Parenting teenagers is by far the scariest, most harrowing thing I've ever experienced. My teenagers are experiencing growing pains, and dealing with difficult things and literally all I can do is be open to them and keep praying. It's difficult dealing with the secrecy that is a part of teenage culture. Kids keep secrets when they should tell, and they just don't have the skills to deal with all of the crap in their lives. I want to hold them close and keep them safe, but I have to let them grow and learn and be independent thinkers and people. My head tells me it's the right thing to do, but my heart wants to hold on so tight that I'd smother them. I miss the toddler years, when I could largely control their environment. And keep them safe. And the kind of social issues we were dealing with was a friend who called someone a stupid poopyhead.

And that my friends is my life in a nutshell. I can't wait until it's summer vacation and I might actually relax a little. Reading a good book on the beach, Shim playing in the water all day, the older 2 reading on the beach with me. Of course they'll have ipods in their ears and won't want to talk, but they'll be safe with me.

Namaste.

running clinic

Very excited. At my family reunion yesterday, my cousin Ryan was telling me about the running groups at the new Running Free store in Orangeville. Ryan has become a big runner, and encouraged me to come out. I checked out their website and they have a Start to Run clinic, that is FREE! All of their running clinics are free. Which is totally awesome. So Saturday mornings at 9 o'clock I will be at the clinic, relearning how to run. Ok, I know how to run, but I am seriously having trouble getting my arse out there running. But I am in! Inhaler in hand--only hopefully I won't need to use it :)

Ryan expressed an interest in yoga. So I'm going to try to get him to come out to yoga with me. And I demonstrated dancer pose when they were making fun of me because ballet apparently didn't do me much good as far as grace goes. I might be the oldest of all the cousins, but I rocked that pose. Laugh all you want you younger siblings and cousins....

I am feeling so much better after my B12 shot on Thursday, I seriously wonder why I wait too many weeks in between. No more. All I have to do is call to get an appointment, and it's so worth it to take the time to go.

I finished report cards this afternoon. My brain is mush, my eyes are strained, but I'm done! I'll print a draft and proofread tomorrow at school. Yippee! And with any luck I'll plow through the rest of my assignments for my course. I'm floating tomorrow, the boss is away, the 2nd in command is away, and I'm putting out metaphorical fires as they arise. So with no kiddos underfoot for at least part of the day, I should get through some stuff. And then I can really let my mind rest.

I hope everyone is enjoying this cool, overcast Sunday.
Namaste

followers

I just checked my followers, I knew one was my life-long friend the Cargillwitch--we grew up together in Grey County. And imagine my surprise to discover that my other follower (it's a small group!) is another blogger whose blog I read regularly! I'm not on her official follower list, but I have to say that it's flattering when someone you don't know decides to follow your blog. Blogging has been an interesting experience for me. For one, putting it out there. I was NOT raised to be public with my thoughts and *gasp* feelings! And for every blog post I write, I probably read 500 posts by others. Blogging is a great way to find out about other people out there, and to indulge my voyeuristic side. I love reading other blogs on topics that also interest me. And I love getting comments on my blog. Most of my comments are left on facebook by people who know me in person, but getting comments right on the blog is very cool. It means that someone other than my facebook friends are reading my blog. And isn't that the point?!

So a shout out to my blog followers. I am honoured!

So for anyone reading, follower on blogger or on facebook, a little update:

Life has been super stressful, as mentioned in my previous post. On top of work and course stress, normal raising teenager stress (and the angst that goes with it!), someone very dear to me is experiencing some scary health problems...again. I have promised to keep it to myself until there is a definitive diagnosis, but man, that is hard. It ratchets up my stress level to beyond reasonable. I try not to worry, to pray about it and trust that all will be well, but I have to say, I'm not so good at that. I don't necessarily agree with some of the decisions that have been made regarding that person's journey to wellness, and I need to be respectful and keep my opinions to myself. It is not cool to add my personal stuff to the amount of stress they are already experiencing.

Thus my ND's advice to give my mind a break. And I know she's right. And she's prescribed more exercise, including strength training. We discussed my issues in the past, of constantly being at war with my body, and how yoga is helping me to heal that. I expressed my need to be at peace with my body and to have a healthy self-image. She totally agreed and pointed out that I'm not happy with my body now, maybe adding some other stuff back into the routine, and actually scheduling it will help. Very good point! On the plus side, my health allergy-wise is great. Having all those inflammatory foods out of my diet has made me feel sooooo much better.

Have I mentioned that my totally awesome buddy Julie--Weekend to End Breast Cancer best girl, nose piercing/handholding, prayer friend, teacher I want to be when I grow up, funny as hell, fellow Roots purse addict, friend that supports me through good and bad--is moving to Virginia?? It is such a good move for her and her family. She's moving to be close to her parents, so she can be there for them, so her son (my buddy "E") can see his grammy and pop-pop everyday. And let's face it, the Virginia shore is a great place to live! But I am sad. I will miss her. Thank God for facebook. I don't see her much in real-life, but I know she's there, just down the road. Virginia is much further down the road. I know you'll read this Julie, just let me say that I love you to bits. And I will miss our coffee visits. And I will totally be crashing at Mama and Papa Heine's in Virginia so I can see you! And make no mistake girlfriend--we are having a wine party before you go!

So there you have it my friends, what has been weighing on my mind. And causing my naturopath to tell me to give my mind a rest (and likely ponder my need for a good shrink, not an ND!).

I'm looking forward to summer. When I can relax and indulge in some me time. And fiddle with allergen-free recipes.

I think I'll go read Mandy's blog. And maybe join her group of followers. And do a little yoga.
Namaste ;)

absentee blogger

I haven't been blogging much lately. Report card writing and AQ course overload, combined with running my kids around the country (ok, it's really only county, but it feels bigger!).

The good news is that school is almost over, and soon report card hell will be too. This course is almost over, but like a mad woman I have signed up for another over the summer. But with the end of school there will be more time to experiment with allergen-free cooking for my kiddo and myself, and much more exercise.

Went to ND yesterday, she wants me to practise resting my mind. And to kick up the exercise regime. Which lately has been non-existent, except for yoga once a week. I ashamed to admit that, but there it is. And now it's public. *sigh*

Looking forward to exercise and relative peace. Yoga more frequently. Walking/running with my dog (who frankly is suffering slightly from muffin-top too). Eating the glorious bounty of summer.

Until then Namaste.