Friday, January 6, 2012

Joy Dare

My apologies for the whinyness of yesterday's post.  But I guess no one had to read it if they didn't wish.  Anyhow...I think I've figured it out.  I totally set myself up with my ridiculous goals and deadlines.  My constant quest for perfection.  Who am I kidding?!  I will never perfect.  I need to live in the moment and quit wishing and worrying my life away.

As some of you may already know, I'm a Christian.  Albeit a not very good one, if I were to be lined up with other Christians and compared.  I'm thankful that on this Earth, in this lifetime, that's not going to happen.  At least not by anyone who has any real say ;)  This morning whilst reading some of the blogs I enjoy (and sometimes add to the discontent, but that's another tale for another day), I came across this:
I don't always read this blog, because frankly, I don't feel like I measure up and why make myself feel worse?  But in the spirit of resolutions, good habits to cultivate and well if I'm honest, the mention of a giveaway, I read it today.  And I'm glad I did.  For those who don't want to check out the link, it's about keeping a gratitude journal and reaping the benefits of such an endeavour.  It happens to be a Christian blog, but by no means do you have to be a Christian to benefit from a gratitude journal. 

As those who know me also know, I'm open to the spiritual beliefs and practices of others, and would in no way exclude my Pagan, Jewish, Muslim, Mormon or atheist friends (or any other spiritual belief system I've omitted).  My Christian beliefs are solid, but I totally respect the beliefs of others.  And that's why I didn't go to church for many, many years.  I couldn't find one that was 1. open enough, 2. casual enough, 3. forgiving enough of my foibles.  I'm not very much into evangelizing.  If respectfully asked about my Christian beliefs, I will share, but I will not be drawn into debate.  Or criticize the beliefs of others.  Period.  In my opinion the condecension (I know that's misspelled, but can't for the life of me figure it out and am way to lazy to find the correct spelling this morning, sorry) and tunnel vision of any faith is what turns others away, not to mention the smugness and self-satisfied smirks of those who feel their work is done and because of their faith they are safe and everyone else is doomed.

Okay, that was a MAJOR digression, my apologies....

I have decided to take the challenge.  1000 gratitudes for the year.  Honestly it would be amazing to win the camera, but even more amazing to finally shake the discontent for good.  It has become clear to me that it's not going to happen on my own, and it's time to do something about it.  It's overdue.  I need help to see all of the wonderful things that I have for which to be grateful, and a journal that I can look back upon may just be the solution.  I haven't decided--handwritten journal, or a shiny new blog for a more public sharing.  Or both?!  Both have their attractions. 

On another shaking the discontent note, I realize that my creative side has been sorely neglected, and that is likely another area that I need to work on for true happiness.  Like everything else in my life, I have tried to tackle this mountain by reading all about it, researching, sythesizing, evaluating and not spending enough time  doing.  I need to create.  It's a part of who I am.  I can't knit much (remember the tragedy of the knitting injury to my shoulder?), although I like the product of sewing I'm not sure I have the patience, I love photography but am horrible at it, I'm thinking of painting (furniture not canvases).  When my kids were but mere chicklets, I spent many a happy hour painting and decorating.  Nothing can't be fixed with some good primer and a coat of paint in a happy colour.  So I'm going to work on a few projects.  At least that's the plan.  And I may just start with a diningroom table that needs to be spruced up.  Rick will likely be shuddering if he reads this.  And I might do a little knitting.  And possibly some sewing.  We'll see.  Most importantly, I need to keep this need of mine in focus and not forget about it in my quest to always be climbing to better things.

Another need--to spend time with good friends.  In that vein I'm meeting my friend Carolyn for lunch.  We haven't seen each other in a couple of years, and it's long overdue.  I can't wait.  So I better get my butt in gear and go shower and leave the computer behind for the time being.

Who will join me in a year of 1000 gratitudes?  I'd love to share and enjoy each other's journals.  I'd love to share the joy that is your life.  1000 gratitudes from a diverse community of beliefs and lives?  That sounds like something for which to be truly grateful.

1 comment:

cargillwitch said...

last year was a rough one for me on many levels- I was glad to see it pass.
I have keep a daily journal for over 23 years ( started when I was pregnant with my first) and decided each day to make a small note of ONE THING I was grateful for last year during some stressful ( read WORK) times. It helped immensely for me to just for a few moments think and dwell on that one good thing each day.
So count me in, I already have seen the benefits!