we all have our issues....

As I've been reading blog posts of bloggers I follow, or blogs I peruse from time to time, I'm struck by the number of people who have all written about being glad to see the end of 2013.  When you notice it on all social media platforms, it becomes a disturbing trend.  What was with 2013?  So many people all over the continent, all experiencing some degree of angst/despair/misfortune over the past year.  I wonder why.  I wonder why we only find out at the end of the old year/beginning of the new year?  

I know the answer--because we all keep our issues to ourselves.  Some things we can't hide, like the death of a family member or a significant illness.  But those aren't the only things that add up to feelings of relief to see the passing of a year.  There are many hidden causes for those feelings.  Unseen health issues, mental health issues, work stress, family stress, unseen health issues of family and friends, financial woes, trauma of any description, death of someone we love...the list is really endless.

So as a part of my balanced year, I am wishing for good health for myself, family and friends.  No more financial issues, health problems, grief, unmanageable work stress, relationship problems.  I wish everyone peace and well-being.  I wish for people to feel supported through everything they are experiencing, and remind myself to remain aware that what may seem a trifling to outsiders, may just be the proverbial straw on the camel's back for someone else.  

Before anyone thinks I've lost my mind and turned into Pollyanna, I want to say that I know that life issues are unavoidable.  Most of all my greatest wish is for people to have the resilience and fortitude to withstand any of the crap life throws in the path for them.  Because life will.  Please keep in mind (self...I'm talking to you....) that it's not some karmic trick designed to make you miserable.  It's life.  

I'm trying really hard to give myself and others the gift of compassion and empathy.  And to not be so wrapped up in my own stuff that I'm blind to the troubles of others.  If we could all just get a little better at that, we would all be able to get over those hurdles (self...this one is for you again...).

If you are one of those that had a crappy 2013, I'm cheering you on for a fantastic 2014.  If you had a great 2013, I'm still cheering you on.  Life is too short and too precious to not enjoy it....at least most of the time (self.....are you listening?).

I'm taking the weekend to wallow before going back to work on Monday.  My head is NOT back in the game yet, and it's not going to be before Monday morning.  Because that's one of the gifts I am giving myself in 2014.  Permission to really rest my brain.  To take down time and thoroughly enjoy it, so that I'm able to be in the game at my best.  I'm working on it.  It will continue to be  a work in progress.  (Did you pay attention to that, self?)

Happy weekend.  And happy 2014.

I think I really hurt it this time

Last week was a week of craziness.  And it involved too much sitting--at a conference, in the van on the way to Ottawa, in the stands in the gym for basketball, in the van for the drive home from Ottawa.  And it has all made my iliopsoas really, really hurt.  I couldn't even walk a week ago.  I still went to school and hobbled around, and it's still not better.  It's a bit better, but I still am limping (and now have a sore back because of it).  I think I really hurt it this time.  It's always gotten better after a few days of babying.  *gulp* A friend suggested I might have torn something and need medical intervention to fix it.  Crap.  On my to do list this week is to actually make an appointment with a chiropractor that specializes in sports injuries (what started this whole deal was overdoing it at yoga in October, coupled with running), and if that means time off work, then that's what I will do.  Because this nonsense has to stop.  I need to exercise!  No exercise, and an autoimmune disease that makes me gain weight makes Nicole a fat chick.  Not cool.

In other news, work is insanely stressful.  The end of the year is looming, I have a ton of stuff we haven't learned yet, and I feel like I do nothing but manage behaviour.  Don't get me wrong, I love my job.  I love kids.  But I am ready for a break.  This long weekend didn't come a moment too soon.  My class is now up to 22 boys and 5 girls.  It wears me out.  And I have report cards to write, and I'm taking a course.  That was self-inflicted, report cards are not.  Why I ask myself, why?  Because as my good friend at school says, I'm crazy.  Obviously.

As I wrote the other day, my dietary change has not improved the whole Hashimoto's situation.  Which is causing me more stress.  Arrrggghhh.  But it will get better.  It has to.  And since gluten-free wasn't working, I ate some gluten yesterday.  I won't be repeating that.  While it hasn't improved my autoimmune issues, apparently it does impact my system.  Not in a positive way.

Anyway, this is a long weekend and the sun is shining, it's supposed to be hot, gardening is on the agenda, life is good.

Enjoy!

gluten...again & some other stuff

Found another great blog about autoimmune, Hashimoto's and gluten.  This post in particular was great!
http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2012/02/gluten-questions-answered/#more-1401

And another
http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/2011/10/healing-autoimmune-disease-8-a-podcast/

I am starting to feel better, the dietary changes and IVs are kicking in....for now anyway!  Next step is to add exercise back in--particularly yoga and some running.  I miss them, and since I'm feeling a bit better I'm going to give it a try.

And really the best part of it all is that being gluten-free has not been that difficult.  Realizing it's essential for better health helps for sure.  Not sure why, but I don't really even miss it.  Which is a good thing.  And for whatever reason, it's made it easier to stay dairy-free too.  Go figure.

You know that little thing over to the right that says "Stress is related to 99% of all illness"?  Turns out it's true.  I swiped it from Lululemon btw if you didn't realize.  One thing that Lulu has right.  Manage the stress, manage the illness.  I'm trying to keep that in mind.

Having said that, yesterday was a hugely stressful day.  I had a very important and meaningful meeting yesterday afternoon.  I'll spill the beans about it when I find out the results.  Suffice it to say that I'm glad it's over, I think it will have really positive results, and I'd like all of my friends to keep their fingers crossed for me.

Enjoy this Good Friday, friends.  A day that causes me introspection and quiet meditation.  A day that fills me with a mixture of sadness and incredible hope.  This extremely important day to Christians.  I am grateful for this day.

Christmas parties and elusive sleep

Last night was the staff Christmas party.  Let's just say I work with some very funny people.  My face hurts from laughing.  I also coughed so hard I almost coughed up a lung.  Which would have put a damper on the party.  Or maybe not.  But what happens at the party stays at the party.  'Nough said.  I'm just glad I don't have a hangover!

But, I did get to bed at about 1 a.m.  And woke up for the day at 4 a.m.  It's going to be a very long day.  I imagine anxiety about our family Christmas is the reason I couldn't sleep.  It's going to be....interesting.  Christmas is my favourite time of year.  The magic of the season, the decorations, wrapping gifts, the whole deal.  Except then family Christmas get-togethers and the reality of holiday stress sets in.  And I come to the realization that I am no Martha Stewart.  Nor am I a model of patience.  Throw in a night with only 3 hours sleep--yeehaw!  Perhaps tomorrow I may be writing a Canadian Hangover screenplay.  I wonder how Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifinakis and Ed Helmsley feel about the Great White North?

Throw in a couple Santa hats and some snow.  Can't you picture it?  Instead of Jagermeister the boys will be drinking Canadians and shooting Canadian Rye Whiskey laced with maple syrup.....but I digress.

I am weary.  I am possibly a little grumpy.  And I need to put on my happy face and act like a house full of people, all with strong opinions and sibling rivalry rearing its head is what I'm in the mood for.  I think a nap is in order, and likely a very long walk in the bush.  It will be loud, and chaotic and I will be grumpy, but isn't that what Christmas is all about?

Just in case anyone reading this thinks I'm being a bit Grinchy, you're right.  But I love my family and Christmas just wouldn't be the same without all of the things above.  Only Brad, Zach and Ed won't be there.

How do you deal with the anxiety and stress of the Christmas season?

Blessings for a beautiful Saturday friends.

I am overwhelmed!

Okay, how is it that I keep doing this to myself???  This week is insanely busy, and I started a new course on top of it all.  Of course, running is the thing I haven't been able to fit in, the very thing that would help me to save my sanity!  And I'm writing a blog post at 6:45 a.m. instead of working on something because...well, I like writing blog posts.

Today is my hubby's birthday.  Happy birthday Rick!  I wish we could celebrate together.  We did have a nice lunch on Sunday (he had to cook it) and the kids and I gave him his gift.  Running stuff.  Go figure :)

But the whole reason that my week is nuts and I can't celebrate my hubby's birthday with him is the return of the dastardly afternoon shift.  After hubs being on days all summer, this is a serious shock to my somewhat delicate system (delicate like a goat's system is delicate).  I am it for getting kids to and from various places this week.  Wednesday is a wonderful example of my week--I need to be at the board office for a workshop (network, network, network...), at a basketball practice in Orangeville with Shimmy, picking up Jackson from a volleyball game (I should go to the game, but that's obviously not happening) and at a town meeting about a waste something-or-other company that my township is trying to sneak into my backyard.  So, um, I'm still trying to work it out.  We'll see, maybe I'll master cloning myself by then.  Or maybe I just won't be able to do some of it.

So you can see how it would be difficult to fit in a run.  Last night was no better, tonight is busy (but at least it's a massage and yoga).  Maybe Thursday a run will work.  Friday I'm going to go get Jess at school, because on Saturday we're having a b-day party with family for Rick.  Maybe I should start actually getting out of bed at 3:30 when I wake up instead of laying there trying to go back to sleep and obsessing about everything. 

Maybe I should skip sleeping completely.  Which would actually give me more time to figure out how to parent teenagers, and do some assignments, finish writing IEPs (very important legal documents for students for those non-teachers who for some insane reason are reading my blog), and actually do some planning for school instead of planning day to day.

I have decided to not run in the Run for a Cure on Sunday.  I will do a long run around my town, and then buckle down to get some of my work done.  Maybe I'll be able to fit in church.  A nice plus  if you're a churchgoer (I'm trying to be).

I'm trying to remember to breathe.  Breathe deeply.  Let some of it go.  I'm trying, I honestly am.  I'll let you know when I master it.

Wishing all of you a much more calm and sane week than I have going on. 

back to school shopping....wish me luck

Since today is a no-work day for Rick, we are taking the dynamic teenage boy duo back to school shopping.  God help us.  As good are my intentions, these days typically end badly.  We spend way more $$ than we should/want on ridiculously priced trendy clothes and shoes, we argue over the practicality of "those" shoes, and overall I am deemed a mean, cheap, old hag.  Doesn't it just sound like soooooo much fun!? 

I am setting my intention for the day--calm.  Nice deep breaths, count to 10 (or 100 if that's what it takes) before speaking, and let them deal with the consequences of their choices.  Breath in, breath out.  Again.

I've taken my handful of supplements.  Including the adrenal support that is recommended for stress.  I have my super strength homeopathic remedy for stress in my purse, as well as my handy-dandy spray bottle of Rescue Remedy.  I had a big breakfast, so blood sugar lows shouldn't be a problem.  More breathing.

Did I mention I'm not getting in enough yoga?  I NEED to get to a regular class, and get in regular home practice.  My class I will have this year enjoyed classroom yoga when they were in grade 2, so we will be doing regular yoga for DPA.  Yoga should help with some of the running stiffness I've been experiencing.  And my still tight shoulder from the unfortunate waterslide incident (never go on a waterslide if you are over 40 and not a fan of rides....not good).  Tight hips from running.  But no IT band trouble, so the stretching/asana I'm doing right after a run is helping.  

I have a feeling that this evening would be a good evening for a long, slow practice.

Namaste. 

running free, or at least running

Running clinic yesterday morning.  I was a little concerned, I missed Wednesday's run because I felt like I was getting sick (achy joints, scratchy throat), and couldn't make it up on Thursday because sometimes there just aren't enough hours in the day.  So I went to the clinic, prepared for it to be painful.  But to my happy surprise, it wasn't.  The very muggy, close, heavy air made it difficult for my breathing and I actually used my inhaler (I haven't needed it lately!), and the hills that Norm was "kind" enough to include on our route were a bit tough, but it went ok.  I'm still not very fast, but I'm also not in the slowest bunch.  And even better, I wasn't dragging behind everyone else, being the caboose of our small group yesterday.  Not that it should matter, but because I have an issue or two with competitiveness (really?!), it matters a little to me.  And best of all, we have run far enough now that the race on Labour Day should be fairly easy!  Cooler temperatures (at least not as much humidity) will make it feel great!

I'm looking at a couple other races too, to help keep the momentum going.  Left to my own devices, I'm afraid that life and school will take over, and I'll not keep up with running 3 or 4 times a week.  I'm plotting and planning ways to keep myself running after the Labour Day race.  I'm hoping that the Saugeen Tri Club that I've taken clinics with before will be looking for leaders, that's one way I will keep going.  I could definitely run with the absolute beginner group who do a run/walk combination.  In my experience, I'm faster and have more endurance even before this clinic, so it shouldn't be a problem.  And I've heard about a running group for intermediate aged girls, that works on building self-esteem, that some schools run.  There are bracelets, it's a real club kind of deal.  If I can remember the name or find it using Google, that would be a club I could start at school, and it would keep me running too.  And heaven knows, intermediate girls need all of the help with self-esteem possible!  I'm sure Ted will start his running "club" at school too, and he only manages to keep it going for a few weeks before he peters out, maybe I can be involved with that too.  Another way to keep running.  I realize I sound like a nut, but I know how easy it is to be derailed by life.  And I don't want to start from scratch again next spring!

I'm missing yoga class like crazy, it's time to get going to a class somewhere.  A friend told me about a lady who teaches from her home near here, but so far Thursday evenings haven't worked out so well.  I need to call and commit to one class, then I'll likely be able to keep going.  And I'd still like to get to Buddha Rider in Collingwood for a class.  It's Anusara yoga, I'd like to give it a try.  But I keep having all of these conflicts with time.  What I'd really like is to have class with the lovely Sarah, in the studio in Shelburne.  I emailed her to find out if there will be a session, it may not happen very soon.  Which is ok, I just miss her classes, and her calm self.  Once you totally trust someone, and they know you and what your body can do, it's hard to go somewhere else.   I trust her gentle corrections, and helping me deepen poses.  I know she's not going to push me to the point at which I could injure myself.  And I just really like her.  I have been practicing a bit at home, but to be honest, not nearly enough. 

I finally made an appointment with a chiropractor.  My neck is not getting any better, and I think that I must have some misalignment going on in there.  I had to cancel my last massage, and I haven't connected with my MT to get another appointment.  And my neck is feeling it.  But I don't think it's very normal to need massage every 2 weeks, or have pain.  So I'm going to combine massage with chiro and see if that gets things better.  When your neck is too stiff to be able to get into fairly easy asana?!  That's not a good sign.  And it will only get worse once school starts again.

We're off to my parents trailer today, and of course, it's raining.  Sitting in the trailer is not exactly how I want to spend the day.  Hopefully the rain clears up and we can enjoy sitting outside.  It doesn't even have to been super sunny, just not raining.  I'd like to swim in Lake Huron, and relax, not get so pissed off at my parents that my blood pressure skyrockets and I almost have a stroke.  And believe me, if we're stuck inside the trailer (even if it's the Taj Mahal of trailers!) that's very likely what will happen.

Wishing everyone a peaceful, relaxing, lazy August Sunday,

Namaste.

blahs

Life has gotten away on me again. I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed. It's too busy and I'm not getting enough exercise. I made the decision to skip the running clinic. It's just one more thing in an already overcrowded life. I would like to walk away and leave my life behind for a few weeks. A beach, a pile of books, nowhere to have to be, and no one to answer to. Yoga when I feel like it, swimming and running when I feel like it, but all on my own time. Sounds divine doesn't it? The blahs will pass, this I know. The real issue is figuring how to plan my life so that I don't get to this. I'm not big into feeling weepy and overwhelmed, that's not how I usually roll, but that seems to be par for the course over the past few weeks. And it's not work. Work is the one place I feel like myself. *sigh* I had my B12 shot today. Maybe that will help.