poor neglected blog....

My poor neglected blog.  Life has a way of getting away on a person, and sadly things like personal blogs realize the effects.

Life is good.  RYT-200 has been completed and I am now a full member of the Canadian Yoga Alliance and looking forward to teaching some more classes.

I have accepted my offer of admission to complete my master's degree, starting in November.  Exciting and daunting at the same time.

My move to my new digs is complete, and I love my new home!  Durham is a lovely little town, and Finn, Allistair and I are very happy with the new house.  Missing my kiddos, but the boys are off to post-secondary school life, and the girl is starting her adult life anew.  We all are happy and well.

Interpersonal relationships flourish, and I'm in a good place.  Life is good.  I get frustrated with others, but I'm (still) learning to manage my reactions.  I'm also working on not trying to be everything to everybody, or protecting the feelings of others at the detriment of my own.  It's a process.  And people are a little shocked when they find out Pollyanna has sharp claws from time to time :)

Not taking the complete asshat-ishness (I claim creative license...writers get to make up words on an as needed basis!) of others personally continues to be a struggle, but everyone has their own stuff.  I don't need to take ownership of the issues of others.  I have enough of my own to work through.  Sorry, you're on your own!

And ultimately, the past year has taught me that I have great friends, great family and a wonderful support network to lean on when I need them.  For that I am eternally grateful.  It also makes the odd asshat easier with which to cope.

I hope if you're in my local area, you get in touch and drop by for a visit and to see the new digs.  There's always wine and beer cold in the fridge!

Another year passes

Unbelievable.  A whole year since my last post.  Life has seen some big changes in the past year.  I won't bore with the details, but let's just say I'm looking forward to fresh starts and new perspectives as I move into 2017.

The struggle is (still) real.  Still struggling with maintaining healthy eating patterns, fitting in enough exercise (although bike trainer is an awesome new addition), letting go of the "shoulds" and staying happy.

Yoga Teacher Training is almost done--June!  So I'm teaching 2-3 times a week.  If you're local and interested, drop me a line.  Free yoga is just good karma.

After my epic trip to New Zealand this past summer, I'm looking forward to visiting Sweden on March Break.  Both to visit schools and learn about how other countries do education.  Cuba and Mexico have been thrown in as vacations.  I can't wait for the next adventure!  In other news, I will be looking for a paid yoga teaching gig in July to help to pay for these adventures.

New addition to my life, my golden puppy Finnegan.  He makes me smile.  And boy, have I needed some help smiling from time to time this past year!

Working on my Masters degree.  Almost half way there.  Just another little project in case I find myself with free time.

Irongirl Triathlon was amazing this past August (although with SEVERE jetlag not exactly an amazing race time).  So I've decided to do it again this year.  I figure with my personal history, I am Irongirl and it's time to kick some ass again.

Flying solo is new to me.  And although it causes anxiety from time to time, flying solo is the new normal.  Although taking applications for a flying partner.  :)

Sugarless and loving it

I have been trying to eliminate sugar from my diet for a long time.  A few months ago, I finally succeeded, with the help of my AMAZING nutritionist.  Working with Melanie has helped me to figure out the little things that have been impacting my health in a negative way for so very long.  

Over the holidays, I have been indulging in sugar, and am feeling its ill effects.  Today is the final day of this folly, and it's back to my structured way of eating.  When I eat my veggies and keep my blood sugar balanced, I feel like a million bucks.  After the past couple of weeks, I feel like a crumpled $5 bill that's been through the wash and has seen better days.  Sugar and too much wine are not agreeable beyond the initial buzz.....

When you give up sugar, it makes it easy to give up alcohol (because it's really just sugar with a kick, right?) and simple carbs.  Cut that junk out and you'll feel better too.

If you're struggling with feeling crappy or want to drop some body fat, I highly suggest getting in touch with a Registered Holistic Nutritionist.  If you are in my area, check out Melanie  http://www.adamsapplenutrition.com  She's awesome and I can't speak highly enough of her!

An added bonus of getting rid of sugar?  Sugar suppresses immune function, so when you eliminate it, you give your immune system the jumpstart it needs to keep you well during cold and flu season!  I also suggest homeopathic immune shots (Stonetree Clinic!), but that's a post for another day.

Today is the final day of ridiculous indulgence, tomorrow fresh start and back to my eating plan for good health.  Eating every 3 hours at a minimum, loads of veggies, always pairing fruit with a protein or fat and keeping carbs to the whole variety.

I don't feel guilty, and I know that indulgence is a healthy part of living well.

Best wishes for a healthy and ecstatically happy new year 😀

Looking back and looking forward

2015 was quite a roller coaster of a year.  Loss, new additions, more loss, grief, healing, sorrow and joy.  Years like 2015 separate the strong from the weak and teach us more than we ever hoped to learn.  I was lucky enough to get to spend the tail end of the year on a wonderful family vacation filled with love and healing.  

One of the biggest lessons of 2015?  Life is short and needs to be lived in the present.  Mindfully and with intention. Find joy.  Seek it out.  The negative hard stuff finds us all too easily, but everyone single one of us needs to look for the joy.  It's there, peeking from behind the tough stuff and it will definitely take work to get to it, but it's so worth it.  Joy sustains us and gets us through the bad times.  Without joy, what do we have?

Looking forward to 2016 is exciting.  I will continue my yoga journey, hope to travel and blend work and personal interests in meaningful ways.  My feet are itchy and want to move.  A million ideas are twirling around in my head and just need to get out.  I hope to write more, which means more blog posts as I work things out.  

Big Magic and Rising Strong were two important reads of 2015, and I'm working toward putting all those brilliant thoughts into practice.  My friends will know that my mind never stops and "out of the box" is a fairly accurate descriptor.  My plan is to spend as much time outside of the box as possible in 2016.

Perhaps most importantly, I've dismissed the idea of balance as my intention for the year.  I have never achieved it, and you know what?  I'm fine with that.  I can dream about being balanced, but it's not natural for me. I'm all or nothing and in trueness to myself I'm embracing that.  My intention in a word? Joy.  That's it.  Seeking joy, giving joy, all things joyful.  Maybe another pipe dream. But won't it be fun along the way?

I'm seeing lots of bright reds, oranges and pinks in my life in the upcoming year.  Can you imagine anything more joyful than those colours?  

I hope this meandering peek into my mind serve every single person who reads this, in some way, no matter how minor.  That would bring me joy.

On to the joy of baking butter tarts while listening to the Strumbellas.  Can't think of a better way to end 2015.  Listening to a Canadian band that brings me joy and baking my family's most requested treats of the holiday season.

Much love and New Year's wishes.  xxoo

Pink washing fatigue

I have to say, the month of October has brought up some difficult feelings.  While I acknowledge the importance of breast cancer awareness, the amount of pink washing makes me feel slightly ill.  I think we've lost some perspective.  Buying pink anything does not necessarily mean that there will be any money given to support breast cancer research.  Or any kind of cancer research.

And I think we've lost the perspective that there are many more kinds of cancers that impact women's health and indeed kill them.  We all need to have an increased awareness of the symptoms of all kinds of cancer.  Early detection of ANY cancer is key to treatment and survival.  In the sea of pink washing, I think we've lost sight of that.

So I'll be over here wearing a burgundy ribbon for multiple myeloma awareness, along with a black one for melanoma awareness.  Or maybe yellow for all cancer awareness.

Don't fall into the trap of forgetting about the other cancers.  They could take your life, just as breast cancer could.

For the haters out there who will disagree with my opinion--I have done my part and raised thousands of dollars for breast cancer research.  I just think it's time to broaden our horizons.

#missmymom #cancersucks

yoga (r)evolution

You may have noticed I have changed the name of the blog again.  As time moves on, we all evolve and my previous blog name didn't really fit anymore.

I have started Yoga Teacher Training, as a therapeutic and necessary next step in the (r)evolution of my life.  It's about so much more that the asana, or physical aspect of yoga.  So, of course it makes sense to have a yoga (r)evolution!

Exhaustion, resiliency and keeping the faith

I've pondered the issue of resiliency before, and I still wonder how some folks remain resilient even after a seemingly endless run of crises and trauma in their lives.  Case in point; a very stressful job, a year long terminal illness of a parent, nearly losing the other parent in health crises twice within 8 months, all while nurturing a grieving family and showing up to previously mentioned stressful job with a smile pasted on and ready to solve every problem that crops up.  And yet I keep plugging away, one foot in front of the other.  There are lots of days that don't feel good, that tears are close to the surface, but I keep going.  How is it that I am able to keep being resilient?

I don't think of myself as particularly special, my whole family is dealing with the loss of our mom, and nearly losing our dad (AGAIN).  But I wonder, what sets us apart from others who throw in the towel at the slightest provocation?  The past week has been brutal, I'm exhausted (as are my siblings), and yet we brush away tears and keep going.

I wish I could attribute it to faith, but frankly, my faith has been shaken.  There is a belief amongst many of my faithful friends that God only gives you what you can handle.  I don't buy it.  I topped out on that in February, and yet it just keeps coming.  My heart has been wrenched into two several times over my life, and I'm done.  It's not a lack of knowing the Bible (when I was 4 I memorized more Bible verses than any other kid, even those twice my age in my Sunday school--my parents first clue that I might be a little "different" than the other 4 year olds), I know it.  I understand the teachings within, to the extent any regular person does.  I'm happy it works for others, but the tests that I've been given are making me question the veracity of the core beliefs with which I was raised.

So I question-what does faith have to do with resiliency?  Anything?  I don't know.  I'm inclined to believe that gratitude has a great deal to do with resiliency, as well as some pretty good brain chemicals and positive self-esteem.

I am incredibly grateful that my dad is still with us, despite the very scary crisis a week ago.  I can't even imagine losing him while the grief of losing my mom is so fresh and painful.  The thought is quite frankly, paralyzing.  Pretty dramatic I know.

And I question, what makes it possible to keep going to work, dealing with the stuff of everyday life and managing some grace while doing so?

I am sure that I can't possibly endure anything else for a while, that I need a break.  

In the meantime, I make plans for a return to regular exercise, a diet that will preserve my health and with any luck at all will prevent the diseases that have afflicted my parents, and to look for ways to turn off my brain.  I suspect if I master the last, the others will fall into place.

Or maybe I'll just move to a shack on the beach, and spend my days watching the water and sleeping.  That sounds like the best plan of all.

If you can't say something nice.....

My blog has remained silent for 3/4 of a year.  Mostly because I didn't know what to write.  At the end of February 2014, my mom was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a cancer of the bone marrow.  Mom fought and beat cancer 5 years before that, so a new cancer diagnosis was like a kick in the stomach.  Some things are too painful to write about, some things too private.  And as I alluded to i previous posts, some things are better left unsaid because although misery loves company, it's kinder to keep negative things to yourself.

Sadly, in early February of this year, my mom lost her hard fought battle.  It's hard and it causes anger and feelings that are just too difficult to express.  Cancer is horrific, and watching someone you love slowly lose the battle that she is fighting because she doesn't want to leave her family--not for herself, but for her family--is painful and not something to write about.

Soooo....it's been a long, painful, shitty year.  And because of all the stress, I've added adrenal fatigue to my cocktail of health misadventures.  I'm working on it, and will continue to work on it, but it's a long road.  There is no easy, quick fix.  The first thing is to get healthy.  Lots of rest, healthy foods, stress reduction and yoga.  Time being grateful for my family, and the year that we got with mom.  I want to wave a magic wand and be magically the picture of health, but that's not how it works.  First you put in the work, then you get the results.  Healing and dealing grief is the absolute first step, and nothing will change until that has been done.  Easy to say, hard to do.  But I'm working on it.

I am thrilled though that I had my annual melanoma check up and am healthy!  For that I am incredibly grateful.

The one thing I've been reminded of this year is that there is so much for which to be grateful.  Life is precious and short (and long), and difficult and wonderful all at the same time.

As I. Heal and have nice things to say, I will blog.  If I don't, I will maintain the golden rule--if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

summer reading and a big dose of introspection

As usual for summer, I have been doing a lot of reading.  Some fiction, lots of non-fiction--both for personal interest and personal development (as a part of my professional development).  Personal development is an area of interest, but is crucial as a part of my professional leadership development (I know, right?!  Makes you want to live my life...).  One of the quirky side effects of that much personal development reading (and watching TEDtalks) is an incredible amount of introspection.  Which has the potential to be a little..."crazy making".  I put that in quotation marks because I'm fairly certain that's not the clinical term :)

The introspection has led me to be currently rereading "Eat Pray Love".  And although I love it, I do think maybe Elizabeth Gilbert is a little nuts.  Or was.  And I totally mean that in a good way.  Next up on the list is to reread "The Happiness Project".  Gretchen Rubin is another woman who I think is slightly nuts.  In a totally good way.  Both books seem very much like very driven women have succumbed to their woo-woo side and embark on a journey to fix what's missing from their lives.  Or not missing.  Whatever.  Either way, both books are a personal journey of looking to improve their lives.  Or social-emotional state.  

Because I also love the work of Glennon Doyle Melton, which you can find at www.momastery.com and because she says she has been so influenced by Dr Brene´ Brown, I watched her TEDtalks this morning (give me a break, I'm kicking coffee and am too tender from my chiro appt yesterday to do any exercise, I needed to take my mind off of it).  You can find them here:

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame

All I can say is wow.  Shame and vulnerability are really at the root of all of the stuff.  You know, the stuff that gets in the way.  Of everything.  Shame prohibits vulnerability.  Without vulnerability there is no compassion, empathy or joy.  Doesn't that really just sum it all up?  Without joy, how do you find happiness, or what I think people (women?!) are really searching for--contentment?  

But, how do you really let go of shame?  And I'm not talking about shame that you did something horrible and should be punished or anything, I'm talking about the shame that so many of us feel.  Which is maybe more aptly described as "should".  You know what I mean--I should exercise more, I should work longer hours, I should spend more time with my children, I should bake cookies and make jam, and grow my own organic veggies and have hens to lay eggs and volunteer and cook everyday and not watch tv and do yoga and not drink so much wine.  The shoulds.  The ones that I think in some part of her soul, every human with 2 X chromosomes feels every single fricking day of life on earth.  It occurs to me that those with XY chromosomes might too, but that's a little outside my area of expertise.

Glennon talks about the capes she would wear--addiction, bulimia, drug use.  BB (because we're so tight I have nicknamed her BB) talks about other "capes" (cloaks?  whatever) of perfectionism, judgement, overeating--whatever it is that you use to prevent you from being vulnerable, because of shame. Any of this sounding familiar to anyone?  It all hits a little too close to home for comfort.  

The unease, the discomfort.  The discontent.  It's all there.  The cloak of keeping the game face on so that it looks like I have my s*** together.  

It's raw, and it's uncomfortable.  But there it is.

And in that vein, I have added the words evolution and perspective to the name of my blog.  Because that's really what it is.  And it's really not about fitness or lack thereof anymore.  Because I'm not so sure that anyone really gives a rat's a** about whether I'm running or kickboxing or doing yoga.  But when I write about other stuff, people comment.  Which is really good for my dopamine and seratonin levels :)  More about that in Simon Sinek's book, "Start With Why".  There's a TEDtalk for that too.

And to link all of this back to professional development?!  Start with why (that's easy, the kids), think about what their biology dictates for success, help them move past the shame (yeah, we do it to them--report cards?!) and move into vulnerability so that they can learn.  I truly believe that without acceptance and an absence of shame, they won't learn.  Same with teachers (and admin!).  

And there you have it.  Full circle.  What BB calls a "spiritual awakening".  I'm not sure about that, but it's certainly fodder to ruminate upon.

Summer

Ahhhhh, summer!  The long awaited, much needed break.  Week one as always catching up on a multitude of appointments.  Week two some more appointments and really trying to unwind.  The downside of having time to think, is that all the detritus of the mind that normally is shoved aside comes bubbling to the surface and insists on being tended to.....summer is a process :)

A colleague/friend invited me to do a gratitude challenge on Facebook.  3 things, 3 days, nominate 3 people everyday of the challenge.  It's inspiring to think of all the things for which I am grateful. Some are Facebook worthy, and some are better tucked away for personal contemplation only.  Not everyone needs to have the full experience of the recesses of my mind.  In that vein, the challenge has inspired me to actually write down 3 things a day for which I am grateful.  And since it's for my own benefit only, I won't need to hide the crazy!

Operation kick coffee is progressing.  Not always well, but it's progressing.  I'm almost ready for the next step--one cup in the morning.  *gulp*. It doesn't sound like much, but I am a coffee lover.  Through and through.  I'm working on convincing myself that I am actually a green tea lover.  As long as I can kick the habit before the return to school, I will be happy.  Baby steps.

Today is another rainy day, with some intermittent sunshine day.  Which is having a negative impact on my walking everyday with or without the dog.  I don't mind walking in a light rain (not so the dog), but the downpour we got caught in yesterday doesn't do much for me.  We sought refuge under a big leafy tree and waited for the rain to ease so we could return home.  But as we were standing under the tree, it occurred to me that if there was thunder, lightning follows.  And standing under a tree is something akin to standing on top of a hill with a metal rod extended above your head.  Maybe we'll just wait for a nicer day.  Luckily my lightning rod theory wasn't tested.  And my theory that someone would notice it was pouring and would come looking for us to rescue us from the weather was thoroughly disproven.  Honestly, what good is having kids with driver's licenses?!

So, looking for some sunshiny hot weather, so I can enjoy the beach and really get my mind and body in better shape for the upcoming school year.  Rain is good, but I'm ready for some sun.  Fingers crossed for beautiful weather the week we are renting the cottage, and for the rest of our vacation time.

The positive about rainy days, is that there is time for organizing and cleaning the clutter.  Clutter in my space causes anxiety, and I get nothing done.  Except temper tantrums.  Not exactly productive.  It maybe says something about me, the amount of satisfaction gained from organizing?  On today's list? Kid's coat closet.  God help me.

How are you spending your rainy days?

Be courageous!

Happy Easter!

I have to say, this is a strange Easter chez Bolyea.  Seamus is in Scotland for a high school rugby trip.  It's weird when your chicks aren't all home for at least part of a holiday weekend.  And I'm sick, to boot.  Just a bad cold, but irritating for someone who NEVER gets colds (thank you Dr Tara!).  I'm chalking it up to a combination of spring allergies, walking with cold wind on my face (sinus pain!) and a year's worth of stress making the perfect conditions for a spring cold.

I feel like I haven't written in sooooo long.  But I did, I just didn't press the publish button.  I mean really, who wants to read a mess of stress and woes?!  It has been an extremely challenging year personally and professionally.  It's a school year I will be glad to see the back of--not because of the people, just because of circumstances.  I am tired.   A week in beautiful Cuba did a world of good, but alas a week's worth of holiday bliss is easily undone once reality sets in again.  I'm just incredibly grateful to have had a holiday.

I know it's just the situation, but I feel stuck.  In many ways.  There aren't enough hours in a day or week, and when I find the hours I'm so done I can't get motivated to accomplish anything.  It will pass, I know it will, but it's not a great feeling, that huge wall I feel like I'm looking up at.  How depressing is that?!  If this is what I write when I'm feeling in a better place mentally....ugh!!

On a much more positive note, when in Cuba (my new favourite place on the planet), we went on a catamaran trip and got to interact with a dolphin.  Beautiful memory.  Pepe's skin was so smooth, such an amazing creature.  I've decided that I'd like to become a dolphin trainer (maybe in my next life...).  Bucket list item.  So in that vein, I've decided to finally take riding lessons this summer and indulge in another bucket list item.  I started asking my parents for a horse when I was four years old.  I never did get that horse, but I did make sure my kids all know how to ride.  Now it's my turn.  Life is short, and it's important to do things you've always wanted to do--sooner rather than later.  I don't think I can keep a horse in my backyard, but you never know ;)

Also on the list:  more running, more yoga and more time in nature.  That includes ocean, sun and sand.

Spring is the time for new beginnings.  I'm taking it to heart.  It's time to let the "stuff" go and fix what's wrong in my world.

Namaste and Happy Easter xxoo

February blahs

Anyone else sick of snow?  Here in my part of Southwestern Ontario we have had the biggest wallop of a winter in recent memory.  Utter craziness.  I cannot wait for spring.  Today is a relatively mild day for this winter....only -13 Celsius.  Yep, that is mild for this year.  But it is sunny, definitely a plus.  So..flipping..tired..of..cold..and..snow..

So, we have decided that we are going to head to somewhere hot for a week to recharge.  We think Cuba.  Hot sunny beach.  It's calling my name.  I need to recharge my batteries.  Winter, school and life are seriously kicking my butt.

I've been reading a Susan Sly book, which is giving me many bright moments of thought, but also giving me cause to ponder aspects of my personality and life.  I know in my heart of hearts that there are changes I need to make for my own wellbeing, but it's really hard to change part of who you are.  She speaks a lot of developing an awareness of what you attract in your life.  And how to change it.  There are some things that I attract (pattern of behaviour?!) that I'd really like to leave behind.  Because in truth, if you don't leave it behind you don't create room to attract the really good stuff.  BUT, that can cause pain.  I'm working through coming to terms with what is sure to be a sharp pain, but hopefully not that long-lasting.  Sort of like ripping off a bandage.  Fast and immediate as opposed to long, drawn out heartache. 

Growth is an interesting thing.  I know there's going to be some pain, but then I look at some of the new things and friends change is bringing into my life.  It's a process.

In the meantime of being sick of snow and pondering the changes that I think are necessary, I express my gratitude for all that I have.  Especially family, friends and health.

Blizzard 2014

We have been experiencing a Canadian blizzard!  Today every road in our county and all of the neighbouring counties are closed.  ALL schools in several boards are closed, and we have been stuck inside for two days.  Temperatures are -21 C, but feels like -34 C.  Baby it's cold outside!  Even the factories and other businesses are closed because of the weather....good because no one can get there to work.  Rick was as excited as a little kid to get a snow day today :)

Chase is making very quick trips outside, and demonstrates that yes, she can pee while standing on only two opposing feet!  Can't say I would want to have to go outside!  You can't tell from the pictures, but you can't even see into the field behind the house, and by times when there are gusts the houses across the street are obscured by a wall of snow.

So grateful for a snug house, having my family safe at home and NOT having to keep a wood stove going!  

Sadly, my daughter just found out that a well known elderly gentleman from our town has passed away today.  Literally everyone knew him, and our small town won't be quite the same without him.  

Stay warm and stay inside, off the roads.  Can I just say that I am looking forward to summer and beach weather!?

we all have our issues....

As I've been reading blog posts of bloggers I follow, or blogs I peruse from time to time, I'm struck by the number of people who have all written about being glad to see the end of 2013.  When you notice it on all social media platforms, it becomes a disturbing trend.  What was with 2013?  So many people all over the continent, all experiencing some degree of angst/despair/misfortune over the past year.  I wonder why.  I wonder why we only find out at the end of the old year/beginning of the new year?  

I know the answer--because we all keep our issues to ourselves.  Some things we can't hide, like the death of a family member or a significant illness.  But those aren't the only things that add up to feelings of relief to see the passing of a year.  There are many hidden causes for those feelings.  Unseen health issues, mental health issues, work stress, family stress, unseen health issues of family and friends, financial woes, trauma of any description, death of someone we love...the list is really endless.

So as a part of my balanced year, I am wishing for good health for myself, family and friends.  No more financial issues, health problems, grief, unmanageable work stress, relationship problems.  I wish everyone peace and well-being.  I wish for people to feel supported through everything they are experiencing, and remind myself to remain aware that what may seem a trifling to outsiders, may just be the proverbial straw on the camel's back for someone else.  

Before anyone thinks I've lost my mind and turned into Pollyanna, I want to say that I know that life issues are unavoidable.  Most of all my greatest wish is for people to have the resilience and fortitude to withstand any of the crap life throws in the path for them.  Because life will.  Please keep in mind (self...I'm talking to you....) that it's not some karmic trick designed to make you miserable.  It's life.  

I'm trying really hard to give myself and others the gift of compassion and empathy.  And to not be so wrapped up in my own stuff that I'm blind to the troubles of others.  If we could all just get a little better at that, we would all be able to get over those hurdles (self...this one is for you again...).

If you are one of those that had a crappy 2013, I'm cheering you on for a fantastic 2014.  If you had a great 2013, I'm still cheering you on.  Life is too short and too precious to not enjoy it....at least most of the time (self.....are you listening?).

I'm taking the weekend to wallow before going back to work on Monday.  My head is NOT back in the game yet, and it's not going to be before Monday morning.  Because that's one of the gifts I am giving myself in 2014.  Permission to really rest my brain.  To take down time and thoroughly enjoy it, so that I'm able to be in the game at my best.  I'm working on it.  It will continue to be  a work in progress.  (Did you pay attention to that, self?)

Happy weekend.  And happy 2014.

Looking forward

Another Christmas has come and gone.  Filled with joy and excitement, love and giving.  I love the traditions that my family has, and the creation of new ones.  Like the questionable Christmas sweater that I received from my sister-in-law...we'll see who gets it next year.  Whenever there's a joke gift involved, I seem to be in some way connected, either as the giver or receiver.  

The days between Christmas and New Year's always prompts me to look inwards.  Did I accomplish my goals of the past year?  What intentions will I set for the year to come?  As always I don't feel that I've accomplished the resolutions for the past year.  I never feel that I do.  So I am going to just set one intention for 2014.  Balance.  I talk about it a lot, but never achieve it.  I can't expect to feel well and whole if I don't find balance though.  And with every passing year, I feel more need to be balanced.  Work and play.  There needs to be a balance.  I find myself perpetually feeling like I'm on a never ending treadmill that is just going way too fast.  That harried feeling isn't healthy.  For anyone.  So I'm looking to achieve balance.

Balance means incorporating yoga, exercise, as well an outlet for my creative side.  I'm thinking about finding some art classes, or cardmaking, or something like that.  I love to knit and crochet, but my shoulder and wrist don't like it (ouch!).  I need to find something to work on that will allow me to empty my mind of the other things.  I also need to spend time in nature.  Not a fan of winter, but I need to find something to do that will allow me to get outside and drink it in.  I function better when I spend time enjoying the glory of nature.  

As I write this, I feel like I'm just rewriting a previous post or ten.  Definitely a sign that I'm not doing what my soul craves.  Listening to my soul would be a good start....

Whatever your intention or resolution for 2014, I wish you a happy and prosperous year.  Prosperity in the things beyond material prosperity.  For those are what are what is really important.  

Waiting for Santa.....

Days of imposed rest (dr's orders), hours of Pinterest, Facebook and blogs.  Two Game of Thrones novels completed and nothing left to read but some professional reading.  One completed crocheted headband.  I am just waiting for Santa!  Who comes tonight, my nephew Kai says it's so.  I am looking forward to all the excitement of Christmas Day brings.

Tomorrow will bring stockings and gifts and special Christmas morning yummies.  We will be packing up to head to Grandma and Grandpa's house, where the larger family will be converging.  Six boys, two girls and lots of adults.  The excitement and confusion will be palpable.  I can't wait.

Wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas.  May Santa be good to you!

The awesome Vitamin C IV

Exhausted, sinus headache and achy, achy joints and muscles?  Sounds like the flu.  Feels like the flu. In addition to my handfuls of vitamins, homeopathic nasal spray and LOTS of extra sleep, I highly recommend going to a naturopath for a VitaminC IV with extra immune booster shot added in.  I dragged my sorry self out of bed yesterday, headed to the ND and had my IV.  Back home, Advil for the aching and back to bed.  This morning woke up feeling much more like myself.  Much less aching, no more Advil and just more resting.  Hopefully back to school tomorrow.  The trick is catching it in time--don't wait until you're already really sick, be proactive.  I can't say enough about the magic IV!

Update:  while the IV helped, I have succumbed to the aches again.  So more Advil, more napping and no work again tomorrow.  :(  but my hubs tells me I have more colour in my face and I'm not quite as pale.  Always a good sign.  But without the IV I would be a mess, so I'm still grateful!

It's been awhile......

I know it's been quite a while.  But life is crazy and all fell apart the first week of school, so here we are.  I don't want to fill blog land with whiny posts that are oozing with self-pity.  Not my style.  Let's just say fall has kicked my ass, and I'm looking forward to things looking up from here on in.

I am grateful for a supportive husband and family, good friends and colleagues.  The past few weeks especially have made me think about resiliency.  What makes some resilient and others not so much?  Maybe outlook on life?  I'm not sure, but is know that when I'm feeling stressed and ready to meltdown, I take a look around and remind myself that it could be worse.  Yes, work is stressful, I'm worried about my parents and other family members and friends, but I'm ok.  I have a good job, a beautiful home and a great family.  I'm healthy (except for that pesky anemia....) and life is pretty good.  Maybe that's the difference.  I'm not sure.  I do know that I want to shake a few people and tell them to wake up and take a look at their lives--enough with the drama.  I question how our society is devolving into  a society of self-pity and lack of resilient individuals.  Put on your big girl panties (or boy gotchies), a pair of boots and get on with it.  Kick life in the butt.  Got lemons?  Make lemonade.

So there you have it.  Working on getting back to serenity.  Reminding my self daily, "it is what it is".  I even bought a Mantraband that I wear daily to remind of that simple yet effective mantra.  If you can't change it, get over it and move on.

And pin Christmas stuff.  It will make you feel good, if you are a Christmas lover like I am.  I can't wait.  It's the best time of year.  What's not to love in December?  My birthday, anniversary and Christmas all in one month.  Absolutely fantastic.

And if all else fails?  Utter your favourite curse words, pour a glass of your favourite adult beverage and have a hot bath laced with Epsom salts and lavender oil.  Tomorrow is a new day.

I think I hear the fat lady singing....

That's it folks.  It's pretty much over.  We have reached Labour Day.....and as I sit on my deck wearing the hubs cuddly Lulu sweater, my toes and fingers are cold.  It feels like fall.  Kiddos will be arriving bright and fresh faced at schools all over tomorrow morning, full of eager anticipation for the year ahead.  I remind parents to at least attempt to look a little bit sad as they put the kids on buses or drop them at school.  Try.  :)

School beginning always signals new beginnings for me.  I'm starting a cleanse tomorrow.  I decided to use Isagenix, based on the positive results that others are experiencing with it.  Reports of balanced hormones, reduced inflammation and reduction in autoimmune symptoms are enough to convince me.  What I'm doing isn't working, and you know the definition of insanity, right?!  Between my buddy Hashimoto's (confirmed diagnosis by my internist.....tell me something I didn't already know!) and babying my hip and knee as they heal, pounds have crept on.  Time to fix that.  Lots of walking, cleansing and yoga.

My sons and borrowed kid will start school on Wednesday, and my daughter heads back to university this week.  I will miss her and her crazy kitty when they go, but it's good for everyone to get back into routines.  My other kids need to get back to school too, to reconnect with friends and fill their lives with learning.

My husband has had a rough weekend.  His mom has gone to a nursing home.  She has dementia and is becoming more and more confused.  While it's a relief to know that she will be well cared for and safe, it's always difficult when huge life transitions happen.  Dementia is a terrible thing, and it's so difficult to see a parent struggling.  

So that's it.  The fat lady is singing.  It's over for another year.  Time to enjoy the splendour of autumn, leaves will soon be changing, the bounty of the harvest.  Ontario corn, tomatoes, potatoes and peaches are now in season.  And apples.  Fresh crunchy apples, also harvested locally.  

Maybe it's not so bad after all.