August

I have a love/hate relationship with August.  August makes me melancholy.  It makes me think about all of the things I haven't accomplished in July--I always have huge plans, and don't achieve many of them.  It makes me realize that it's almost school time again.  While I love my job, the insane pace that life takes on once school starts, not so much.  I love August weather, hate that it signals the waning summer.  Days are getting conspiculously shorter.  Makes me a bit panicky, I have to say.  I love the bounty of the farmer's market, hate that it also means Thanksgiving will be here before we know it.

Maybe part of my problem with this August is that I was taking a very intensive course for the first 2 weeks of July.  My personal life has had more than its share of bumps along the way recently.  Happily we are getting through them, things are better than ever, but it hasn't been especially easy.  And hasn't made this summer especially wonderful--and now August in all her freaking glory is here already.  *sigh*  See, melancholy.

But--good things are on the horizon.  Hubs and I are going away for a couple of days, just the 2 of us!  I'm excited.  Although I really miss having little guys, this is one benefit.  Big kids (ok, the girl is an adult...) can fend for themselves, keep the menagerie alive in my absence and my house will be standing at the end of it all.  Blackberries are a wonderful thing--I can check in with them whenever I need to be sure all is well.  We've decided to go to Tobermory, one of our favourite places on earth.  Have I mentioned I can't wait?!

We've also booked a yurt for the hubs birthday weekend in September.  I love camping, but neither one of us can sleep on the ground in a tent anymore (middle aged backs are not fans of that!).  So we've planned another weekend sans enfants, camping in a yurt.  A yurt is kind of like a cabin, only circular shaped.  It comes with beds and all the stuff you need for camping.  Another bonus.  Fall camping is the absolute best kind of camping.  Again--can't wait!  And the girl has agreed to come home from university to help make sure her brothers survive (and don't have a high school party and trash my house).

I've just realized that in addition to my angst about my new job (exciting and terrifying!), my girl will soon be heading back to university.  Which she loves.  So much that she doesn't come home very often and I really miss her when she's gone.  She's living in a house this year, and has to cook for herself.  Maybe I'll see her more often so she can come home to be fed up :) 

Another reason for feeling some melancholy this year--my geriatric kitty has started peeing in inappropriate places.  Like my bed.  With me in it.  I think she's maybe lost her marbles.  And it pangs me to think that we are maybe going to have to make a very difficult decision.  But I need to be a realist.  I can't afford to replace all the things that get ruined when covered in cat urine.  Like my purple haze purse (periwinkle nubuck leather Roots....).  My mattress.  The carpet.  She's been to the vet, there's nothing physically wrong.  There are enough litter boxes placed strategically around the house for 10 cats.  I repeat--I think she's lost her marbles.

August is not a good month around here for grief.  It seems to be the emotion of the month.  In response, I am determined to not wallow in self-pity (I know, doesn't sound like it, does it?).  But I will make the best of a difficult month.  I will be excited about school.  I will be excited about cooler days ahead.  I will enjoy these last few weeks of beach weather.  I promise.

The worst thing about August--I just get into the swing of summer living and it's time to get thinking about fall. 

What do you do to get ready for fall?

sugar detox and banishing batwings

Ok, I don't have batwings.  But since I haven't been able to do yoga and lots of planks, my arms are not nearly as buff as they were.  And that's not cool.  42 and fit is a whole lot better than 42 and doughy!

So my plan--sugar detox, which for those who are lucky enough to interact with me regularly means, yes, a little bitchy for a few days while my body adjusts.  And also means an end to my alarmingly frequent relationship with my friend Mike.  You know, of hard lemonade fame.  Disappointing, yet necessary.  So long Mike, it's been a slice.  In addition to kicking Mike and sugar to the curb, I'm eliminating my yummy wheat substitutes.  I don't NEED gluten-free toast with pb, I just like it.  Not carb free (hello, veggies and fruit are full of carbs!), but getting rid of the processed ones.  I will once again be the quinoa queen.  In fact, a batch is cooking right now for a fantastic salad.  It has corn, carrots, sunflower seeds, dried cranberries...omg, yummy!

Part 2 of the plan involves alot more walking and starting to run again.  Dr. Hotty-totty says I can run if I start off really slowly, I just haven't really trusted him.  Time to start, cause frankly this non-runner bit is getting old quickly.  And since my back is still not great, oh well.  I'm going to the chiro anyway.  (only don't tell him, he will give me a lecture)  It also involves figuring out what yoga exactly I can do.  Flexibility is declining and I am NOT going to be one of those old ladies.  So there.  Planks baby!  And lots of warror poses.  What else I'm not sure.  I'm still trying to figure out  how to do sun salutations without forward folds....I guess I could just skip that part.  I can do balance poses.  Hello tree pose.

So there you have it, no more sloth, no more sugar, no more Mike.  I have also decided to give up vacuuming, because it hurts my back, and frankly I'd rather do something more fun if it's going to make it hurt.  Vacuuming is highly overrated anyway.  I'll bribe a kid.  Or shave the dog and cats.  Whatever works.

Enjoy this sunny beautiful Sunday afternoon.  I'm headed out to read on the deck.  With my last Mike's from the fridge.  *ahhhh*

Sleepless

Last night was a frustrating, sleepless night.  I lay awake for hours contemplating life in general, my role in the great scheme of things, the upcoming school year (and the challenges it will bring), and listened to far off thunder--wishing, hoping it would come closer and we would get rain.  It rained for about 10 minutes yesterday afternoon, and about 1 minute during the night.  We so desperately need rain, it isn't even funny.  I found myself hoping and praying for my farmer friends that they all have crop insurance--one friend has already lost their corn crop.  Many more are going to if we don't get rain soon.  And not only corn, all of the crops are suffering.

Our grass is burned off and crisp, crunching underfoot.  So crunchy hurts to walk on in bare feet.  And it's been that way for weeks already.  I have a couple neighbours with gloriously green grass, but the hippy in me won't allow water to be wasted on something as superficial as green grass.  The water table is already low from a winter without much snow, water is too precious to waste.  And so I lay awake at night praying for rain.

See what keeps me up at night?  Between rainless night and distant thunder, reassuring the dog that she was in fact ok, no storm here, and pondering my place in the universe, it was a busy night!  The result is a tired woman who will likely descend into grumpiness before the day is over.  *sigh*

It also occurs to me that my feeling out of sorts may be because of the chelation therapy I'm doing.  One of the side effects is irritableness and changes in sleep patterns.  Something to keep an eye on.  Chelation just means I'm taking big doses of DMSA, which binds to heavy metals in my body (mercury and lead), which my body can then eliminate because they are bonded to the DMSA.  It's supposed to be helping my body heal from this stupid autoimmune disease.  If it works I will be overjoyed!  Of course it also can strip the body of other minerals and stuff, so on my off days I'm taking enough mineral supplements to replete an elephant.  DMSA smells horrible.  Good times, let me tell you.

Hubs is back to work this week, so I am left to my own devices.  Maybe I'll actually clean my house.  I started scrubbing down the kitchen the other day, but got sidetracked by the prospect of going for a walk instead.  All of these things distract me from getting any practical work done.  I'm going to have to clean soon, I think I'll lose my mind living in the mess if I don't.  **note** although it bothers me, it's not exactly like a case of Hoarders, if that's what you're thinking.  We haven't reached that state of affairs yet...emphasis on yet :)  All of our rodents are in their appropriate cages.

Speaking of walking....I think I'll take the dog for a walk.  Before it gets too hot.  And since the robin is singing of rain, the trees are blowing rain, and outside has that quiet before the rain feeling, I should do it soon.  I would hate to think my sleepness night was all for nought.

Beach baby....

I love the beach.  And I have spent the past couple of days at 2 different beautiful beaches.  Yesterday we went to Sauble Beach.  Beautiful, beautiful long expanse of sand and clean water.  Sheer bliss.  And the water was warm.  The day before we were at the beach in Meaford.  Some rocks, not as busy, all in all, my favourite local beach.  It's on Georgian Bay, and the bay is usually ridiculously cold.  However, with the extremely hot weather hot weather we've been having, it was amazingly warm.  Warm enough for a wimp like me to spend time playing in the water!

On the weekend we were at my parents trailer on Stokes Bay.  They put in a bunkhouse, an adorable little place to sleep.  I slept until 8 o'clock each morning.  The perfect antidote to a stressful couple of months.  On Sunday we went into Tobermory, which is absolutely one of my favourite places on earth.  We wandered, visited the shops, checked out the beautiful & very expensive boats (millions of $$$!) and kiddo got a gooey pb and Reese's beavertail.  A Canadian specialty decadence.  I satisfied my sweet tooth with a visit to the Sweet Shoppe (I normally abhor the cuteness of "shoppe", but given the amazing Fiery Cashew brittle, I will forgive them), and a taste of maple fudge.

While at the trailer, we also went out for a post-supper boat ride.  Beautiful!  The water was as warm as bath water, and I delighted in trailing my hand over the side.  Water as smooth as glass.  We went around some of the little islands, marvelled at how low the water is this year (drought in this part of Ontario), and enjoyed the evening breeze on my face.  I can't think of a nicer way to spend an evening!

Today a day at home, hanging out, maybe renting a movie or two.  Catching up on laundry and doing some minor tidying.  Nothing major.  I don't want to break my blissfulness with housework.  It will wait.
I hope everyone is enjoying summer as much as I am.  Canadian summer is fleeting and deserves to be treasured.  Before you know it, we will be shivering and complaining about the snow.



The sunset over Lake Huron, taken from the boat as we headed back into Stokes Bay.  Sorry it's a little pixelated, best I can do with my blackberry!

DONE!

My 2 week whirlwind Principal's qualifications course ended yesterday!  Whew!  It truly was a whirlwind 2 weeks, class all day, homework all evening and again in the very early morning.  But I lived through it, met some fantastic people and am ready for an overdue vacation!

In that vein, instead of cleaning my disgusting house, I'm going to my parent's trailer for the weekend.  Lake Huron bliss.  And I'm not cleaning next week either--hubs has another week of holidays, and I'm spending it hanging out with him and the family.  He has held down the fort for the past 2 weeks  several months through thick and thin, it's time to give him something beyond the leftover bits of me.  The reality is that I couldn't be where I am professionally without his support.

I feel like I've been missing so much.  I read a few blogs this morning, cuddled with the dog, contemplated my piles of stuff sitting around my house and decided to completely ignore the mess and write a blog post instead.  I'm resetting my priorities :)  And with any luck my internal clock--4 a.m. is fine when you have homework to do, not so much when you are trying to relax and sleep in.  Baby steps....

Also so looking forward to time for exercise!  Still a little leery about running with my back, but I can walk and swim.  And do some careful yoga poses.  It's going to feel sooooooo good!  And time to prepare healthy meals--craving quinoa!

I'm also going to go to the Scandinave spa (a very generous gift from a student) and get totally relaxed, go get a pedicure and manicure and even maybe an eyebrow wax and haircut.  It's truly distressing to discover that you can't possibly pluck your own eyebrows anymore because blonde hairs + aging eyes = I can't see a damn thing in the mirror!  Until I'm driving in bright sunshine, and then I can see that some eyebrow grooming is long overdue--but that's another middle-aged story!

Did I mention no mores courses until next summer?  And then I've planning on doing the course in France!  Starting saving $$$ right away so I can afford that adventure.

Enjoy every last minute of this beautiful weekend.  :)  I'll see you at the beach!

June whirlwind

My goodness, I can't believe the whirlwind that was June!  I have not read a blog or written in weeks.  And here's why:  I was promoted.  I am now an elementary vice-principal!  It`s so exciting, yet overwhelming.  I`m leaving teaching behind, and moving into the office.  The learning curve is huge, and exciting, and nerve-wracking and thrilling.  You can see the emotional rollercoaster I`ve been on.  Part of my promotion means moving to a different school.  So I have packed up my stuff, given alot away, and said goodbye to students and friends.  The past week has been very trying emotionally.  I have never had so much trouble saying goodbye to a school.  I have fabulous friends whom I won`t be seeing everyday anymore.  :(

It seems like as soon as I was told about my promotion, the emails for next year started.  I`ve been doing 2 jobs at once, which has significantly reduced my free time for blogging.  Not complaining, just an observation.  I also wrapped up my last Spec Ed course.  All time consuming.  Throw in report card writing and you`ve got the overwork trifecta!

And just for a change, Monday I`m starting my principal`s qualifications course.  It`s in Newmarket and Aurora, which is about an hour and fifteen minutes away.  So the next 2 weeks will be busy commuting, and doing homework.  It has to be done, but it will mean not much blogging or beach time!  It`s all good.....  If it gets to be too much, I may stay there for a night or two.  I'll see how it goes.

I`ve also found the perfect antidote to autoimmune weight gain--stress!  I`m not eating much, because my stomach hurts or I`m too busy, or I'm just not hungry.  I`m not running or doing yoga (back is getting better, just no time!), or watching what I eat, and I`m shrinking.  Which is ok, except not overly healthy.  It will all even out.  And next year, I won`t have any trouble, the school is 2 stories and between running up and downstairs and no time to eat, I won`t exactly be gaining.

I also will be doing chelation to reduce the heavy metal toxicity load in my body, which is the likely root cause for my friend, Hashi.  Oral chelation, so at least I`m not trying to fit visits to the lovely Tara into my crazy life.  Gluten is a piece of the puzzle, hopefully chelation will fill in the rest of the pieces and I will feel better.  But having said that, I`m also wondering if my immune system is starting to swing the other way, and cause other symptoms (like weight loss, hyperactivity).  From everything I`ve read, that`s pretty typical too.  We shall see.

I highly recommend my new chiro/sports therapist for anyone in my area who is in need.  He's awesome (and extremely easy on the eyes!).  My back and hip are sooooooo much better!  He's given me the go ahead to start doing 1 and 1 running intervals, which I will do as soon as the next 2 weeks are over.  Can't see it happening before then.  Adam is one smart cookie. 

There you have it in a nutshell.  I didn't fall off of the face of the earth, just caught up in the whirlwind.  Tornado, more like :) 

Happy Canada Day, by the way, to all of my Canadian friends.  Especially my friend Julie, who is in Virginia.  Miss you J! 

Hope you all enjoy the fireworks :)

Getting by...

Well, hello.  It's been a while, I know.  Life has been a whirlwind of busy-ness lately, all of the craziness that the approaching end of the school year brings to a teacher's life.  Trying to teach those last few piles of stuff that haven't been taught, assess children who would rather be outside playing because it's so beautiful--and let's face it, I'd rather be outside playing too!

Amidst the busy-ness, I'm almost finished my last Special Education course.  Yeehaw!  I will be a Spec Ed Specialist in a couple of weeks.  A nice feeling to be sure.  I am taking a course in the summer, but more on that once school is over.

My nemesis Hashimoto has been working very hard to be debilitating, but I will not give in.  I get out of bed every morning, put on my best face, and plod on.  I will not be beaten by this little old autoimmune disease.  Not happening.

I am seeing a chiropractor/kinesiologist/sports specialist today so I can find out exactly what's up with this darned injury, and hopefully get some help.  Because I need to exercise.  And that's not happening.  And my "friend" Hashi needs me to exercise, or I'm going to weigh 400 pounds.  That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but really.  At least when I'm able to run my arse off, I don't gain weight.  And I feel better.  A real kick in the butt for Hashi.  But as I said above, I will not be beaten by this.  Slightly trampled and worn maybe.  But not beaten.

I am saddened that my family is concerned by my lack of energy for anything outside of work and getting by.  I have planted 2 pots of flowers.  That's it.  And it's possible that's all there will be.  I just don't have the steam.  But my wonderful daughter weeded my flowerbed in the back and offered to help me plant more flowers and pots.  Very sweet surprise to come home to one day this week, especially since her summer job is building cars, very physical and she's exhausted at the end of the day.

I had wanted to plant some veggies, and some more beds, and a butterfly garden.  Maybe a couple of tomato plants, a zuchinni and peppers.  That will be enough.

And I have some very exciting news that I can't share for another week or so.  Actually a couple of things.  I can't wait.

**update after appointment**

Um, so it's not a hip injury at all, it's actually a back injury in which the pain is not in my back, but showing up further along the nerve, and ending up in my hip/inside of my leg area.  Created by a disc pinching the nerves.  Accupuncture, exercises and an adjustment were the order of the day.  Along with strict instructions of how to sit, sleep, and move.  And absolutely, emphatically NO running, NO yoga, NO walking long distances and NO sitting for extended periods of time.  Prognosis guarded, future of running and yoga in question.  I almost cried when he said that yoga is not the right thing for me, that it risks the integrity of my back too much.  I can swim for exercise.  That's about it.  Well, that and I can try recumbent bike, but I have to be very careful. 

A lecture about listening to my back and seeking help right away and not after an extended period of time, as well as repeated comments about my "high threshold for pain."  Which I think is code for "no sense, no feeling" perhaps.  I'm supposed to email or text him if I have any sharp pains, and he kind of intimated that given that I just keep going through pain, I could be really injuring myself.

So there you have it.  I am getting old, and my body although apparently fairly immune to pain, is falling apart at the seams.  Good times let me tell you, good times.  Oh yeah, did I mention I'm supposed to stand at the counter for computer work?  Yep, and during an online course, and report cards.  I'm going to go have an ibuprofen and a Mike's Hard lemonade.  And then lay down and ponder my good news that I'll be sharing next week.