Why I love my naturopath...and some other stuff

I went for a visit to my naturopath yesterday.  And walked away feeling great about myself, my summer choices and more than that, filled with hope and self-acceptance.  She listens.  Listens fully.  That is the single most important difference between her and my conventional medicine doctors.  She takes the time to listen, treats me like I'm intelligent and cares about all of me.  So in a nutshell, she agrees with me that whatever is going on in my body, it's not fibromyalgia.  Which relieves me.  She agrees that anti-depressants and sleeping pills are not a good solution for me (I can't emphasize for me enough....they are the right thing for some people).  She applauds my decision to give myself permission to sleep and do nothing in order to heal my body.  And agrees that running is not in the cards for me at this time.  My gut feeling is that yoga is what I really need, maybe a little walking and swimming, lots of sleep and time doing nothing are the best medicine.  She agrees with me.  We talked about how the forties are very freeing in many ways.  And letting go of guilt and living life, not always hurtling toward the next goal.  Eating beautiful food, lots of veggies and fruit, cutting out grains, drinking lots of water (and some wine....let's not kid ourselves) are all part of what is going to make me feel well.  It's amazing what those things and getting rid of stress will do for a body.  

I think it's important to emphasize that I'm not implying in any way that it's my job that causes me issues.  It's only one stressor out of many.  What's important is recognizing that in order to do the job I LOVE, I need to take care of myself and use my vacation to heal and rest.  My biggest stressor is me.  I make myself crazy.  My brain never flippin' turns off, and that causes stress.  So I'm trying to learn to turnout off.  And since realistically I can't totally change my personality and turn my mile a minute mind off, I need to practice working with it.  Not letting things turn me into a pretzel of stress and cortisol and crankiness.  I'm working on it.  It's a process.

Last night was a weird night.  I spent hours alone, just me, the cats, my dog and my daughter's boyfriend's dog.  We hung out, we cuddled, I read a bit and we watched a movie.  PS I Love You.  Normally romantic movies make my skin crawl, I much prefer sidesplitting inappropriate comedy or action type movies, but that one I love.  There's nothing quite as nice as snuggling in a warm bed with a cool breeze blowing in the window, pets all around, watching a movie that makes you cry.  Only a little bit.  It's a tear jerker, but so heart warming at the same time.  It makes me very grateful for what I have.

This week I'm looking forward to maybe more beach time, more reading, more movies and getting ready to head to Montreal next week.  I can't wait to go to Montreal, I haven't been in years, and it's just not like Toronto.  It's so.....French I guess.  Whatever it is, I love it and I'm excited to be going for a few days. When we return a couple of days at my parents trailer, more beach time and then a week at a cottage in Sauble Beach.  More beach time.  By then I should be good and ready to head back to work.

Isn't life grand?

One reason Canadian summer is too short

My summer just started.  I finished work on Friday, and will have six glorious weeks of summer before returning to school all refreshed and able to cope with other people's children.  Believe me, educators need to recharge over summer.  Most kids are great, some would try the patience of Mother Teresa (oh wait, that might be my own children I'm speaking of.....message remains the same....). But I digress.....so, while I'm enjoying catching up all of the housework I didn't do for the past, oh let's say 9 months, I check my email.  And my inbox is full of emails about back to school sales, uniforms, backpacks and other school accoutrements that parents get suckered into buying.  It's the second week of July for crying out loud.  What kind of an asshat is thinking about back to school already?  (Sorry Pinterest friends who are madly pinning BTS crap....stop planning for a couple of weeks already!).  We live in a ridiculously material, consumerist society.  It is summer.  Time for beaches and decks and hanging out with friends.  Camping, cottaging, enjoying nature, hiking, lakes, canoeing.  You know Canadian summer things.  Not advertisements for crap kids don't actually need for school, that were no doubt manufactured in an Asian sweatshop.  First world problem I know.  But I live in the first world, and my crazy life makes me sick and I need to recharge without worrying about BTS.

So when I summon enough energy to unsubscribe to those retailers (online shopping is wonderful, and yet this is the result), that's what I will do.  In the meantime, don't email my sympatico account, I'm not reading those ones.  

In other news, when cleaning my grubby house, I took the chocolate brown curtains down to be washed.  And rediscovered the lovely bright airiness of my downstairs.  I don't think I'm putting them back up.  I did foray to Target a week ago to see if they had any lighter curtains, they didn't have what I was looking for.  Although I'm not sure the orange and white chevron I'm envisioning in my head is available anywhere.  Maybe I can talk Rick into coming to Ikea with me.  I live in a subdivision so no curtains isn't really an option, I need some kind of window coverings.  Ikea might be my best bet.  Cheap.  Or I might need to stoop to actually sewing some.  I think it's safe to say that is not really the best option.  Sewing raises my blood pressure to near stroke levels.  Fingers crossed that somewhere will have just what I'm looking for.

I've also decided this morning that I need to buy a "vintage" trailer to redo, and then put on a lake somewhere on a seasonal site.  Vintage really means old.  But made to look adorable with paint and imagination.  Look on Pinterest.  You'll see what I'm talking about.  Has to be a trailer, Rick won't go tent camping anymore.  I say Rick, but what I really mean is that we are too old and decrepit to get up off the ground in the morning when we sleep in tents.  For real.  But the real deal is that I need to be in nature.  Near water.  Nothing soothes the soul or lowers blood pressure like looking out at the lake in the early morning.  

Lunch with my sister and nephews today, meaning I need to kick my butt into gear so I get there on time.  Enjoy summer friends, it's too fleeting to be thinking about fall yet.

Quiet days

Summer vacation has finally arrived, and with it the bliss of quiet days.  Time to reflect, meditate, practise yoga and simplify.  A new doctor who suggests that fibromyalgia is a part of the puzzle of my health has given me lots to ponder.  Apparently it's not normal to ache everyday and to have trouble climbing out of bed because of stiffness and non-restorative sleep.  I don't know why I never suspected that in my quest for answers as to why I feel like crap a lot of the time.  But I didn't.  It's given me a huge kick in the butt.  I'm in my early forties, and some days feel 80.  I don't have time to feel like that.  I have too much to accomplish.  So I am actually taking my own advice and working on simplifying and finding balance.  It's my hope that it will just be habit by the time I go back to work in six weeks.  Six glorious weeks of summer.  It will fly by and before I know it I will be making plans to return to my office, and get ready for the onslaught of children after labour day.  Until then you can find me taking it easy.