poor neglected blog....

My poor neglected blog.  Life has a way of getting away on a person, and sadly things like personal blogs realize the effects.

Life is good.  RYT-200 has been completed and I am now a full member of the Canadian Yoga Alliance and looking forward to teaching some more classes.

I have accepted my offer of admission to complete my master's degree, starting in November.  Exciting and daunting at the same time.

My move to my new digs is complete, and I love my new home!  Durham is a lovely little town, and Finn, Allistair and I are very happy with the new house.  Missing my kiddos, but the boys are off to post-secondary school life, and the girl is starting her adult life anew.  We all are happy and well.

Interpersonal relationships flourish, and I'm in a good place.  Life is good.  I get frustrated with others, but I'm (still) learning to manage my reactions.  I'm also working on not trying to be everything to everybody, or protecting the feelings of others at the detriment of my own.  It's a process.  And people are a little shocked when they find out Pollyanna has sharp claws from time to time :)

Not taking the complete asshat-ishness (I claim creative license...writers get to make up words on an as needed basis!) of others personally continues to be a struggle, but everyone has their own stuff.  I don't need to take ownership of the issues of others.  I have enough of my own to work through.  Sorry, you're on your own!

And ultimately, the past year has taught me that I have great friends, great family and a wonderful support network to lean on when I need them.  For that I am eternally grateful.  It also makes the odd asshat easier with which to cope.

I hope if you're in my local area, you get in touch and drop by for a visit and to see the new digs.  There's always wine and beer cold in the fridge!

Another year passes

Unbelievable.  A whole year since my last post.  Life has seen some big changes in the past year.  I won't bore with the details, but let's just say I'm looking forward to fresh starts and new perspectives as I move into 2017.

The struggle is (still) real.  Still struggling with maintaining healthy eating patterns, fitting in enough exercise (although bike trainer is an awesome new addition), letting go of the "shoulds" and staying happy.

Yoga Teacher Training is almost done--June!  So I'm teaching 2-3 times a week.  If you're local and interested, drop me a line.  Free yoga is just good karma.

After my epic trip to New Zealand this past summer, I'm looking forward to visiting Sweden on March Break.  Both to visit schools and learn about how other countries do education.  Cuba and Mexico have been thrown in as vacations.  I can't wait for the next adventure!  In other news, I will be looking for a paid yoga teaching gig in July to help to pay for these adventures.

New addition to my life, my golden puppy Finnegan.  He makes me smile.  And boy, have I needed some help smiling from time to time this past year!

Working on my Masters degree.  Almost half way there.  Just another little project in case I find myself with free time.

Irongirl Triathlon was amazing this past August (although with SEVERE jetlag not exactly an amazing race time).  So I've decided to do it again this year.  I figure with my personal history, I am Irongirl and it's time to kick some ass again.

Flying solo is new to me.  And although it causes anxiety from time to time, flying solo is the new normal.  Although taking applications for a flying partner.  :)

Sugarless and loving it

I have been trying to eliminate sugar from my diet for a long time.  A few months ago, I finally succeeded, with the help of my AMAZING nutritionist.  Working with Melanie has helped me to figure out the little things that have been impacting my health in a negative way for so very long.  

Over the holidays, I have been indulging in sugar, and am feeling its ill effects.  Today is the final day of this folly, and it's back to my structured way of eating.  When I eat my veggies and keep my blood sugar balanced, I feel like a million bucks.  After the past couple of weeks, I feel like a crumpled $5 bill that's been through the wash and has seen better days.  Sugar and too much wine are not agreeable beyond the initial buzz.....

When you give up sugar, it makes it easy to give up alcohol (because it's really just sugar with a kick, right?) and simple carbs.  Cut that junk out and you'll feel better too.

If you're struggling with feeling crappy or want to drop some body fat, I highly suggest getting in touch with a Registered Holistic Nutritionist.  If you are in my area, check out Melanie  http://www.adamsapplenutrition.com  She's awesome and I can't speak highly enough of her!

An added bonus of getting rid of sugar?  Sugar suppresses immune function, so when you eliminate it, you give your immune system the jumpstart it needs to keep you well during cold and flu season!  I also suggest homeopathic immune shots (Stonetree Clinic!), but that's a post for another day.

Today is the final day of ridiculous indulgence, tomorrow fresh start and back to my eating plan for good health.  Eating every 3 hours at a minimum, loads of veggies, always pairing fruit with a protein or fat and keeping carbs to the whole variety.

I don't feel guilty, and I know that indulgence is a healthy part of living well.

Best wishes for a healthy and ecstatically happy new year 😀

Looking back and looking forward

2015 was quite a roller coaster of a year.  Loss, new additions, more loss, grief, healing, sorrow and joy.  Years like 2015 separate the strong from the weak and teach us more than we ever hoped to learn.  I was lucky enough to get to spend the tail end of the year on a wonderful family vacation filled with love and healing.  

One of the biggest lessons of 2015?  Life is short and needs to be lived in the present.  Mindfully and with intention. Find joy.  Seek it out.  The negative hard stuff finds us all too easily, but everyone single one of us needs to look for the joy.  It's there, peeking from behind the tough stuff and it will definitely take work to get to it, but it's so worth it.  Joy sustains us and gets us through the bad times.  Without joy, what do we have?

Looking forward to 2016 is exciting.  I will continue my yoga journey, hope to travel and blend work and personal interests in meaningful ways.  My feet are itchy and want to move.  A million ideas are twirling around in my head and just need to get out.  I hope to write more, which means more blog posts as I work things out.  

Big Magic and Rising Strong were two important reads of 2015, and I'm working toward putting all those brilliant thoughts into practice.  My friends will know that my mind never stops and "out of the box" is a fairly accurate descriptor.  My plan is to spend as much time outside of the box as possible in 2016.

Perhaps most importantly, I've dismissed the idea of balance as my intention for the year.  I have never achieved it, and you know what?  I'm fine with that.  I can dream about being balanced, but it's not natural for me. I'm all or nothing and in trueness to myself I'm embracing that.  My intention in a word? Joy.  That's it.  Seeking joy, giving joy, all things joyful.  Maybe another pipe dream. But won't it be fun along the way?

I'm seeing lots of bright reds, oranges and pinks in my life in the upcoming year.  Can you imagine anything more joyful than those colours?  

I hope this meandering peek into my mind serve every single person who reads this, in some way, no matter how minor.  That would bring me joy.

On to the joy of baking butter tarts while listening to the Strumbellas.  Can't think of a better way to end 2015.  Listening to a Canadian band that brings me joy and baking my family's most requested treats of the holiday season.

Much love and New Year's wishes.  xxoo

Pink washing fatigue

I have to say, the month of October has brought up some difficult feelings.  While I acknowledge the importance of breast cancer awareness, the amount of pink washing makes me feel slightly ill.  I think we've lost some perspective.  Buying pink anything does not necessarily mean that there will be any money given to support breast cancer research.  Or any kind of cancer research.

And I think we've lost the perspective that there are many more kinds of cancers that impact women's health and indeed kill them.  We all need to have an increased awareness of the symptoms of all kinds of cancer.  Early detection of ANY cancer is key to treatment and survival.  In the sea of pink washing, I think we've lost sight of that.

So I'll be over here wearing a burgundy ribbon for multiple myeloma awareness, along with a black one for melanoma awareness.  Or maybe yellow for all cancer awareness.

Don't fall into the trap of forgetting about the other cancers.  They could take your life, just as breast cancer could.

For the haters out there who will disagree with my opinion--I have done my part and raised thousands of dollars for breast cancer research.  I just think it's time to broaden our horizons.

#missmymom #cancersucks

yoga (r)evolution

You may have noticed I have changed the name of the blog again.  As time moves on, we all evolve and my previous blog name didn't really fit anymore.

I have started Yoga Teacher Training, as a therapeutic and necessary next step in the (r)evolution of my life.  It's about so much more that the asana, or physical aspect of yoga.  So, of course it makes sense to have a yoga (r)evolution!

Exhaustion, resiliency and keeping the faith

I've pondered the issue of resiliency before, and I still wonder how some folks remain resilient even after a seemingly endless run of crises and trauma in their lives.  Case in point; a very stressful job, a year long terminal illness of a parent, nearly losing the other parent in health crises twice within 8 months, all while nurturing a grieving family and showing up to previously mentioned stressful job with a smile pasted on and ready to solve every problem that crops up.  And yet I keep plugging away, one foot in front of the other.  There are lots of days that don't feel good, that tears are close to the surface, but I keep going.  How is it that I am able to keep being resilient?

I don't think of myself as particularly special, my whole family is dealing with the loss of our mom, and nearly losing our dad (AGAIN).  But I wonder, what sets us apart from others who throw in the towel at the slightest provocation?  The past week has been brutal, I'm exhausted (as are my siblings), and yet we brush away tears and keep going.

I wish I could attribute it to faith, but frankly, my faith has been shaken.  There is a belief amongst many of my faithful friends that God only gives you what you can handle.  I don't buy it.  I topped out on that in February, and yet it just keeps coming.  My heart has been wrenched into two several times over my life, and I'm done.  It's not a lack of knowing the Bible (when I was 4 I memorized more Bible verses than any other kid, even those twice my age in my Sunday school--my parents first clue that I might be a little "different" than the other 4 year olds), I know it.  I understand the teachings within, to the extent any regular person does.  I'm happy it works for others, but the tests that I've been given are making me question the veracity of the core beliefs with which I was raised.

So I question-what does faith have to do with resiliency?  Anything?  I don't know.  I'm inclined to believe that gratitude has a great deal to do with resiliency, as well as some pretty good brain chemicals and positive self-esteem.

I am incredibly grateful that my dad is still with us, despite the very scary crisis a week ago.  I can't even imagine losing him while the grief of losing my mom is so fresh and painful.  The thought is quite frankly, paralyzing.  Pretty dramatic I know.

And I question, what makes it possible to keep going to work, dealing with the stuff of everyday life and managing some grace while doing so?

I am sure that I can't possibly endure anything else for a while, that I need a break.  

In the meantime, I make plans for a return to regular exercise, a diet that will preserve my health and with any luck at all will prevent the diseases that have afflicted my parents, and to look for ways to turn off my brain.  I suspect if I master the last, the others will fall into place.

Or maybe I'll just move to a shack on the beach, and spend my days watching the water and sleeping.  That sounds like the best plan of all.